I love her but..

[AlanFord]

OK, I have a huge problem..

There is this girl who I know all my life (our parrents are close friends). This may be funny, but I love her since my second birthday and I still love her, 20 years have passed.. She is the only person I could talk to for ages and not get bored. I dont know how to express my feelings to her, I just dont. She is really nice to me every time we see each other, and offcourse I'm nice to her. I'm introvert person and really shy, but I can freely talk to her. I think about her almost every day. I dream about her and when I wake up I feel sad, becouse in my dreams she and I are together. I cant explain how much I love her, I really cant..

Please help me I dont know what to do..

[FlaCooln]

Well do you guys hang out at all?

I think you need to ask her out for drinks or dinner. Something less friend like and more date like. I wouldn't just jump and tell her you have been in love with her for 20 years. I would first try to see if there is any initmate interest in you on her end. Don't go saying I am madly in love with you, rather say something like I am very attracted to you.

Does she touch you a lot when she talks to you? Does she go out of her way to spend time with you? Does she seem to pay more attention to you then others when you are in a group? Those things are signs that she may be interested in you romantically.

However, tread lightly because 20 years is a LONG time to know someone and she may consider you more of a friend/brother then a potential lover. With that said...you should go for it because if you do not you will always wonder what if. IMHO it is better to regret something you have done, then to regret something you did not do.

[AlanFord]

We use to hang out few years ago all the time, and she used to call me to go for a walk, swiming, etc. together. She does pay attention to me when we are in group, but she pays more attention to her female friends. She also used to ask me am I in somekind of relationship, she listens to me very carefully when I'm talking. Yes you are right, once she said to me that I'm like brother to her. I do not know if I am romantically interested to her. I've never something like, I love you, can we be in relationship, but I did used to bother her sometimes. Now we went seperate ways (college). I m sorry for my bad english.

[FlaCooln]

You English is not bad at all. I say go for it...ask her out.

[AlanFord]

Thank you for your reply! I'm going to ask her out, lot of time passed since we seen each other. I dont know how to ask her out, and after, what
would we talk about. I dont want to be awkward infront of her. Its not that easy for me to call anyone out, I'm too shy/introvert. And sometimes I may consider myself crazy, and sometimes I might consider looking for proffesional help. I'm allways different than my other friends, sometimes they laugh at me for being different and not help me, what kind of frinds are that? I'm sorry for being boring.

[michelle23]

Im sure you have a ton of great qualities. Theres nothing wrong with being a little different. Dont put yourself down so much. You should work on your confidence.

You have nothing to lose here. Theres nothing wrong with putting yourself out there and its either going to be a yes or a no. Dont fear rejection. If she does say no-at least you can force yourself to try to move on.

Focus on one thing at a time. Right now all you need to think about is asking her out. Dont even worry about how the date will go if she says yes. You can worry about that if she says yes and well help you.

Right now you just have to make the move. How do you wantto ask her out? Face to face, text, phonecall, online?

Do whichever you feel most comfortable and confident with. All you need to say is "id love to take you out on a date if your up for it"? And a cheeky

[tzz4fun]

Well in order to go from friends to lovers, the most important thing you need to update is flirting. Damn, I have just joined this forum with my own issues and now I am giving advice ) Try things like looking in a sexual way into her eyes, and keep looking until she looks like she's nervous or something. And then start smiling and laughing like you did it as a joke. Start making all kind of these small things enter her subconscious but don't rush it, don't be to obvious about your intentions. Well what the hell, you waited 20 years you might as well wait a little more Be natural. Don't say things like "I want to go on a date with you". Instead, just go. Say "I feel like eating a pizza, let's go have a pizza". And start acting like you were on a date, but she doesn't need to know that she is on a date. You're a man, so you have logic in your system (now girls, don't jump now, we all know men have better logic). So, she now sees you as a friend (probably. you can't know, she also might be into you). You need to show her that you have boyfriend material in you. But please trust me, don't rush things and don't express your feelings. It needs to be a slow transition, since you are friends for so long. And most of all, don't listen to every piece of advice you get here, if you don't agree with something, do what YOU know is best. You know the situation better than anyone on this forum so just be yourself but press the break pedal on your nice guy car and press the gas pedal on the flirty guy car. GOOD LUCK!

[tzz4fun]

We are all the same, dude. Life IS fair. Some have it all in some departments and nothing in other departments. And it goes for everyone, there's none out there who has it all. You don't need no professional help. It's all in your mind. In order for others to like you, first you need to like yourself. Be proud of who you are and never be afraid to talk about your passions, no matter what they are. Try to be more positive about everything, try to see the good things in life. Don't be upset you have ugly shoes, others have no feet.

[michelle23]

And remember OP shes just a girl. Take her off the pedestal and be confident. Her shit stinks too

[AlanFord]

Thank you for your nice reply! Yes, you are right I have to work on my confidence. She wont say no-I'm sure of that. She never rejected me earlier. The problem is what would we talk about during our "date"?

I think the most comfortable way to ask her out is over FaceBook.

[AlanFord]

Thank you! I Yea we men do have better logic! I wont rush, I can wait.

[AlanFord]

Thank you all for helping me out. I appreciate it. :')

[michelle23]

the date will go fine as long as you relax and just be yourself. first dates are a lot like interviews. your sussing each other out. its not one-sided and if you fear her judging you-youll mess up. a date is just to see if that magic spark is there, if you get on well and enjoy each others company. its not just her whos the judge of that. its you too and you should approach this in a casual way. say to yourself "if it works, it works, if it doesnt it doesnt, shes not the only girl in the world and if shes not interested-plenty others will be".

seriously man you have her up on a pedastal. your life does not depend on her and if it doesnt go well-you wwill get over it. just relax and have fun

[AlanFord]

We are all the same, dude. Life IS fair. Some have it all in some departments and nothing in other departments. And it goes for everyone, there's none out there who has it all. You don't need no professional help. It's all in your mind. In order for others to like you, first you need to like yourself. Be proud of who you are and never be afraid to talk about your passions, no matter what they are. Try to be more positive about everything, try to see the good things in life. Don't be upset you have ugly shoes, others have no feet.

Thats exactly I'm scared of.

[AlanFord]

the date will go fine as long as you relax and just be yourself. first dates are a lot like interviews. your sussing each other out. its not one-sided and if you fear her judging you-youll mess up. a date is just to see if that magic spark is there, if you get on well and enjoy each others company. its not just her whos the judge of that. its you too and you should approach this in a casual way. say to yourself "if it works, it works, if it doesnt it doesnt, shes not the only girl in the world and if shes not interested-plenty others will be".

seriously man you have her up on a pedastal. your life does not depend on her and if it doesnt go well-you wwill get over it. just relax and have fun

You're right! She is not the only girl in world.