Originally Posted by
phantogram
Vincenzo, while your girlfriend seems like she definitely has issues she needs to sort out ON HER OWN (and yes, that will require you to step away for a period of time), I find dickriculous' sentiment to be absolutely horrible. Being raped by her stepfather does not make her undeserving of love, and any sentiment otherwise would suggest she's tainted for life because of something that she was powerless to prevent. However, she does need to figure out how to properly reciprocate that love, and she'll need space (and therapy) for that.
Thing is. If she's not over the rape if it's still affecting her everyday life, then she IS tainted for life if she doesn't get help to come to terms with her anger and feelings of loss of control.
Excuse me for having replied when you were addressing Vincenzo however; I really want to address your post.
No one is saying that she should go without love but, she should go without dragging others into her emotional stew. So dick's sentiments may not be icing coated but they are valid and certainly not "horrible" It is enabling thinking such as equating someone's preference to be without a actively issued person in their life as being "horrible" that keeps the issued, right where they are.. which is issued.
Last edited by Wakeup; 10-05-13 at 01:52 AM.
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion