Hi, everyone, I am all knew to this but just trying to figure out life I guess.
Here is my story hope I am doing this right.
I have had a couple of second chances in live one is living though lung cancer and the other is finding my true love back, the woman I should have married years ago.
I will start out saying that we reconnected after many years apart. I have known this woman since she was 12. I loved her back then and love her now like no other. the only reason I never ended up with her in the first place is because I was best friends with her brother. I know now it was dumb worrying about what he would think of me dating his sister. Him and I are still best friends he knows I love his sister like I have never loved anyone and he is ok with it. we both got married a couple of weeks apart we both knew we should have been the ones getting married to each other at that time. We spend hours talking about how we were screwing up not getting married to each other weeks before we both got married. but we were young and dumb back then. we were in over our heads back then. I wish I would have been smarter back then.
Here is how it all happened. a little over 3 years ago we reconnected. yes it was on FB. I hadn't seen or heard from her for over 26 years. Anyway we meet for coffee and the rest is history.. We both felt that connection from years ago. We both were in marriages that were wrong. neither of us had love or compassion from our spouses. We both tried we both were married to the wrong person. god the connection we share is out of this world.
We ended up having an affair. We did not jump right into bed it was almost a year before it happened. We both knew it was wrong with both knew we shouldn't but the love we shared was so amazing.
ok here is the problem now. Her adults children whom could never stand their Dad and wanted her to leave him for years I have seen notes and other stuff they had sent her over the years telling her to leave him. She did leave him for 10 months but now her kids have forced her to go back. she is misreable. Everytime we talk she crys she hates being back with him. Yes she is planning on leaving him again. but is so afraid her kids will disown her. she has only been back home for a little over a week and is on the verge of a nervous breakdown. That is scary to me this woman is strong but her kids are taking a toll on her.
she admited to them of having an affair. That is what they are so upset with her about. we both know it was wrong but it happened and we can't change what we did. The sad part is they hate my guts but they don't even know me. they would never give her the chance to let them learn that i am a caring guy a guy that loves life and make their mother happy.
This morning when we talked she wants to come back to me my door will always be open. Her parents and brother know she wants to spend her life with me. but the kids are so hateful and spiteful. She is so afraid they will disown her forever. she was an amazing mom she loved and cared for those kids and is so afraid they will walk out of her life.
I guess a question I have is why can't her kids let her have her happiness? why can't they let her live her life. she is the one that raised the kids. her husband treated all of them so badly. DOES SHE HAVE THE RIGHT TO LIVE HER LIFE OUT IN HAPPINESS OR IS SHE SUPPOSED TO BEND TO WHAT HER KIDS WANT?
she is looking for a place of her own and I know what she tells me is true that she wants to have our life together. But her one daughter who is supposed to be religious is so mean to her. She wants the love of her kids and I know her kids should come first and must. but how do you get it though their heads that they are ripping her heart out? Like I said these are adult kids ages 26, 23, & 20. We don't live in a prefect world i wish we did.
I think I can honestly say we both tried in our marriges god we gave it 29 years. why would adult children feel they need to control their mother like that. The Only reason I can think of is because they learned from their dad how to control people.
all I am doing is looking for answers on what to do maybe there isn't any answers that I will find.
All I know is that she loves me and I love her. Is a woman are even a man supposed to keep living a life they do not disire jus to please their kids? I mean life is to short I almost los mine to cancer a couple of years ago.
I guess what I am asking is should her and I move on with what we want and worry about the kids coming around when they know their mother is truly happy? and why would an adult child want to control what there mother wants when they have wanted her to leave him years ago when they were still at home? god I want her to have her kids but I want her also.
hope all of this made sense I know it is a lot of rambling but I am at such a lost on what either of us should do. for the life of me I cannot see how someone can be pressured to stay in a relationship if there is nothing there just to please her kids.
Like i said her brother and I are still best friend he knows she loves me and can't understand why her kids are acting like that. her parents are the same they want her happy too but or blown away with the actions of her kids.. they want us together they know we are a prefect match.
ok enough from me if anyone one has any idea's or suggestions please help me.. Sorry about alll the rambling on but it is hard to find the right words to explain all this