Is it more than just a love game?

[sunnyd89]

Hey guys,

I'm just writing to you for some opinions,
I've been seeing this guy for over 2 months now and things seem to be going the right direction, we have lots of fun together and it seems there's a bond growing between us as the weeks go by.
We still haven't really had a face-to-face serious talk about this thing, it's not fully defined. He's older than me and we started off great with some sex but we just clicked somehow and we started messaging and talking each day when up and make sure to say good night,
It was mainly sex first but I can see things going in a different direction, he's become very caring and protective, we just seem to be acting like bf and bf (I bought him things and vice versa, he made me dinner a few times, bought for coffees and meals, i slept over, he was there when i was down and i have a pet name too!)
now I can honestly say I am growing very deep feelings for him, but I am not sure if Its still too early to talk to him, I am pretty scared of a bad reaction and I don't want to scare him off.

I kinda hinted something after 2 weeks we met (okay that was very early), i told him i wanted to know him better and he just said he was not sure it was a good idea... but that didn't put him off and we kept seeing each other every week and talk everyday... that event kind of planted a seed of doubt in me tho, now it's making me wonder all the times if we are on the same page and if I am misreading his good gestures (tho I mean, I never really cared so much for a new friend), he doesn't seem the kind of guy good with words to be honest.

now denying my feelings and keeping them inside me is becoming a burden and I think i should speak to him, why am I so scared to open up and reveal myself? what do you guys think?

[Wakeup]

I think you should at least ask him to be exclusive with you. (Should have asked that the minute you had sex, really) If he won't be exclusive with you, then why would you want to be having sex with a man that could be doing other women while he does you too? If you think it's a burden now holding onto your own wants and needs without voicing/asking for what you want, wait as time goes by and you' find out he's with other women.

If you're letting him put himself in you then for all that is good, you should have the sense and confidence to ask that he not put it in anyone else. AND... if he won't give you what you want, then to have the self-respect and esteem enough to know that staying with someone who wants to share is not enough and you have the strength to walk away.

Geezzus H. Christ. Why are there so many women out there that don't respect themselves enough to look after their own emotional health? Surely you don't want him doing other women while doing you so why wouldn't you find out where his heart/head is at?

[sunnyd89]

I'm sorry I forgot to mention that I am a guy lol so I suppose things are slightly different between two guys... I mean, I know he might be seeing others just for sex, I do that too, but kind of stopped because I just have my head full of him.

We never talked about exclusivity and I mean asking (we met for sex at first, it just happened that we had more than that in common) him to be exclusive without talking about a relationship..I would never do that myself lol

[Wakeup]

Oooooops... hangs head. Sorry, I didn't look to see what gender you were.

I have no advice if thats how you insist on doing things.

asking (we met for sex at first, it just happened that we had more than that in common) him to be exclusive without talking about a relationship..I would never do that myself lol

Well look where that M.O. has gotten you. In love with a guy that ****s other guys. You're life and how you live it but that doesn't take away from the advice that you have to talk to HIM and if he won't give you what you want then to leave or stay and be one of many. Your call.

[Wakeup]

P.S. Please play safe...

[VerticalMoon]

Asking him is scary because you're putting yourself out there and you might get rejected. It's better for you to know where things stand though. Two months is enough time to bring some stuff up, especially considering what's been going on between you two. One, I think you should let him know that you've been developing feelings and find out if the same has been happening for him. Two, since you've stopped seeing other people, you should ask about being exclusive. Because if he's still intimate with others that could get in the way of your relationship. Good luck!

[sunnyd89]

I know, I just have to take the risk, formulate the words right so he doesnt get scared off. 2 months it is a long time to figure out whether or not you like someone. I haven't really stopped seeing others, I mean, I just don't want.. I have no interest and I tried but i can't seem to be able to do things lol
i suppose the first step would be, let him know that i have feelings for him..and then see, if he feels the same and are more or less on the same page..then maybe we can working on the being exclusive part and try as a couple
how does that sound??