Originally Posted by
hulu_son
I have been going out with my boyfriend for a year and a half and when he is sober everything is honestly perfect, but when he is drunk can be very self destructive, getting to the point of incapacitating himself, and sometimes saying really horrible things to me that he would never say when sober. It has been the only thing we ever fought about, and he told me he would go see counselling about it in earlier this year after a fight we had, but, right after that, his dad passed away and he never went because he was dealing with that instead, which I think was understandable.
Last week, he got really drunk and slept with another girl I live with who he is good friends with.
I know that he would never do anything like this if he was sober, and he has told me it is the biggest mistake he is ever made and he can't believe he has thrown everything we had away. I also knew that they were attracted to each other but I never minded because I think it is normal to be attracted to other people even when you're in a loving relationship and I don't think it's an issue as long as you know not to act on it.
I don't know how to deal with this as I live with both of them and see them every day, and I am going to a music festival with the two of them and a couple other friends in a month's time. I wish I could take him back but i know that I can't, at least not until he takes steps to address the issues he has with drinking.
I'm also finding it hard to be angry with him because I know that he is not a bad person and that this is not who he is.
What should I do?>
What you should do is get yourself into therapy to work on that very poor sense of self-esteem and codependency issue that you have.
HELLOOOOOOOO! Wake the hell up. He cheated on you and he's an alcoholic. Surely you don't want to stay with a man and enable him to continue to drink and fk other women while he blames it on the drink and you excuse it because of the drink?
Google for a chapter of Al-anon near you and start going. If you don't, you're going to be living a life of trying to change him and FAILING AT IT. Don't go to this 'festival' with the two of them. You'll look like a raving, insecure push-over who totally they can pull this over on again. Get yourself the help you need. It's direly important that you learn that you deserve better then what you're currently living in.
Sell your ticket and let them have one another. They're both quite disgusting and i'm surprised your still there making excuses for his and her's abhorent behaviour. Get the help YOU need, doll. You'll end up with a far better man if you do.
Last edited by Wakeup; 21-05-13 at 12:43 AM.
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion