"recovering" dumpee

[MattPIMF]

Ok - the long story short:

I met this girl, and we quickly became friends - always had a great time hanging out, talking, etc.

We started dating, and right from the start, we both *knew* we were in love - at least that's what she told me time and time again. I knew when I first met her that she was "the one" (kind of those love at first sight things) - I'm in my late 20's and had never felt this way before about anyone else. Everything was perfect.

Then one day, out of the blue, she tells me that she was not feeling it anymore - that she had 'cold feet' and she needed to not be with anyone anymore.

Needless to say, this was a complete shock and surprise to me.

I was completely devistated. I couldn't eat, sleep, concentrate - my heart was completely trashed. After a little while, we started talking again online - just to clear some things up. It turns out that she went back to an old boyfriend who had recently re-appeared in her life. She had been broken up with him for over 2 years at this point. He was the last person she had loved - and he had broken her heart.

We remain friends... however, I still have that feeling in me that her and I are meant to be together.



Anyone have any advice or similar experiences?

[MattPIMF]

Thanks for the advice! I am still being very catious about the whole friends thing - I know to not let myself get tricked into misreading any signals she's giving me (or NOT giving me). Since we were friends before, I want to hold onto that friendship if nothing else.

I know that everything happens for a reason, and that if it is meant to be, then it will work out.

[zefreak]

Matt, ive been in the same situation as you for the past 2 months. Try the whole friends thing, but honestly I am starting to get tired of constantly getting my hopes up and then getting them crushed. See if you can be her friend without wanting to be more, because theres nothing worse than wanting something you can never have.

[Only-virgins]

How do you know that "You are meant to be together"?. You either love someone or you dont right? I dont get it. Is this some entirely new feeling again?

[artyemi]

i think the whole friend thing sucks because you're always going to be wondering whether anything they do is a signal, and you're always cautious about what you do because it could be taken as some signal.

but good luck with being friends though. I'm sort of going through that right now and it's pretty painful because I don't know how to act around him. I think it's also slowing my ability to move on, but I really like his friendship, so can't complain there.

[MattPIMF]

How do you know that "You are meant to be together"?. You either love someone or you dont right? I dont get it. Is this some entirely new feeling again?

I do love her (still) - I don't know how to explain it - deep inside my heart and soul, I just *know* it... I guess it's kind of like in the movies when people meet their soul mate, but have not realized it yet. I however did. I knew it as soon as I first saw met (before we were together).

[Only-virgins]

I do love her (still) - I don't know how to explain it - deep inside my heart and soul, I just *know* it... I guess it's kind of like in the movies when people meet their soul mate, but have not realized it yet. I however did. I knew it as soon as I first saw met (before we were together).

Well I am not you so I will give you the benefit of the doubt and believe you. Wouldnt this feeling be mutual? She feel the same way?