I left but should I return? Have I made a bad decision?

[SmthJay]

I broke off with my girlfriend the other day after we had a tiff.

I know you're thinking this is typical but that doesn't apply to each individual case

We've been together for 3 years, july wouldve made 4.

To cut the story short, I've done some really bad things; I can be considered an abusive individual.
Even though I am, she still held on.
I recently received therapy and an episode happened I just got so angry I broke a lamp.
Because of legislation, I am discouraged to physically abuse.

The other day when we confronted each other, I told her that I didn't know what I was doing with her and that I should just breakup
with her because of her weight... this is emotional/verbal abuse
the thing is; I don't remember exactly what I said but it must have applied and been truthful
since I said this to her when I was half asleep.

She got angry at me and was trying to teach me a lesson and that's where I told her that I was leaving.
She was devastated and she didn't want to break up, but I feel that it could be for the better.

I'm trying to work on myself first before being involved with anyone so I have to focus on school and therapy for now.
I'm in the process of getting my stuff out of the apartment

I want to become a better person; we talked last night about what could happen in the future.
She's worried I might move on and find someone else and could be stringing along.
However I'm not at the point to decide that yet until I can manage my behavior.

Please let me know your thoughts. Thanks alot for taking your time to read this.

[michelle23]

you are doing the right thing. you need help for your abusive behaviour. you need to learn self control which will take time and its better if you do that alone.

maybe you and she will get back together one day, maybe you wont. either way you will both be fine. tell her not to wait for you, to get on with her life while you sort yourself out.

when your ready and if you want her back when you are more stable, you can see if she still wants you then. if not, you will both move on, meet someone else and be happy.

dont worry about the future for now. you just need to concentrate on getting the help you need. if your meant to be, youll find your way back to each other somehow