I really need someone to help me :\

[loveandfinance]

Hii, thank you for opening this thread.

I've been seeing a girl for 9 months. I made a mistake the other night and today she pretty much broke things off. I've loved her for 6 years and I she never really felt the same way. We have a shaky history and I had more to prove to her than the average person. We were never in an official relationship and everyone, even on this forum, told me that if I continued sleeping with this girl and suffering the turmoil of not getting what I needed from her, that I would just end up hurt. Well, everyone was right.

It took everything out of me. I lost interest in my hobbies about mid way through our nine months and now I have no motivation for my career life, for working out, barely for taking care of myself or keeping my room clean. I have extreme difficulties sleeping and eating. I'm a male and turning 22 in August. My heart is torn apart and I have nothing left. I have no energy and I don't care about a lot of things. Please help me. I need some guidance as to what to do with myself, how to think accept thinking about things in different ways, and just being happy like I was before we started seeing each other.

I've already been surrounding myself with as many people as possible as often as possible and going out everyday.

Please, please help. I'm scared out of my mind, nervous, and anxious and I don't know what to do . I'm a great guy with a good heart and I might have let her walk over me a bit. I did everything I could for her and it wasn't enough.

Please share your thoughts <33

-L&F

[basilandthyme]

My best advice is to learn from this. Even the worst mistakes we make have the positive side of teaching us better ways to move forward.

What to learn from this: Don't settle for less than you want. Avoid relationships where you feel you have to prove yourself. Don't give more of yourself than what the other person puts in. If they don't put anything in, then walk away. In short, you have to keep your brain engaged when you're in a relationship.

If you learn from this, I promise that future relationships will be better......or if you're with someone who isn't right for you, you'll be able to walk away much more easily.

[cadmy]

Dude, our situations are different. But I feel the same pain. I'd like to know what to do too

[michelle23]

You wont always feel this bad. It is normal to feel like crap for awhile. You just have to look after yourself and take it one day at a time. You will start to feel better soon.

For the first month it is okay to just feel sorry for yourself and pamper yourself a bit but after that, you need to force yourself to get out of the house and keep busy.

[GreenMango21]

Things will be better, just bear that in mind. It may be shitty one moment but it will soon be over, believe me.

[loveandfinance]

Thanks for replies everyone.

I just woke up and I pretty much forgot at first what happened. I felt everything all over again. My main concern right now is that being around friends isn't enough. I don't feel anything when I'm with them. No comfort, I don't feel like my life is moving on or anything. I feel sick. My entire body is aching. I don't know what to do while I wait for time to carry me through this.

[Ruganzu]

Yes like you said time will carry you through. And now you are much much more wiser in discerning what you should do in relationships and how to conduct yourself in general. That pain you feel is very sickning I know. But you wont die from it, (I know you may sometime WANT to but you wont) But it will humble you and quiet you when you need to be. Dont fight for what is not beneficial, No matter how chidish you emotions burn against you. Sometimes what you feel now is one hundred times better than what you could be feeling. (BELIEVE ME) As cliché as this sounds Get your mind off of her. Read books for a while until your mind can properly focus on something outside of her influence THEN begin to hang with close friends Laugh and be young theres nothing WRONG with immaturity. Be young and enjoy responsibly. Theres a time and place for everything. Through not contemplating her your emotional pain begins to relapse and slowly disappears. This is called "unwiring or deprogramming" the body. Dont regret anything the key is moving on.