Dreading Dates... Ughhhhhh! I am meeting up with friends for memorial weekend BBQ

[meloveulongtime]

Just recently had a blow out with a guy I was seeing off and on for about a yr and half. we were never an official item or have title. and I wouldnt call it an unhealthy relationship but we were exclusive, I think. IDK, its complicated. Timing was always off.

But my quetion is, Why is dating so complicated for me? I know Im an average chick, decent looking, cute, smart with a good career, sweet, caring, and fun. There are plenty of guys knocking at my door or waiting for my response to confirm a date; yet I always hesitate and bail at the last minute. Or if I do go, I'm either wishing this date would speed up or I end the night with, "Bye, I'll call you...." and never calling or texting until a few weeks later.

Well, My gf suggested I break out of this last tiff with my guy since he's not doing a great job of reassuring me. Plus after a yr and half, if its not working, maybe I should accept and let things go. So She invited me to come out for memorial day for BBQ and meet her boyfriends roommates and friends, try to meet new people and get my mind off things. (Nothing to be racist but Im asian and white guys arent really my thing unless theyre cultured... long story.) Yea, you can say these guys are quite good looking. smart. good career. Plus Ive hung out with her bf a few times, even went to vegas with him and he seems pretty cool. however Ive also met his roommates and friends before too and they seem like douche bags. Ive also seen girls come and go from that group. * RED FLAG*

This blows!!! I know if I keep having the mind set that all men are pigs, How am I suppose to meet potentials? Its as if Im looking for love at first sight.

Anyway, It's been over 2 years since I was last in an official relationship. I honestly dont want a committed relationship but I know I do want something casual whom i can simply cuddle, laugh, and enjoy good company while I pursue my career. where things go from there, I dont know and would rather play things by ear and let it happens if it does. im an independent chick, i take care of my business and i want him to take care of his too. I just simply want good company and trust without worry that he's got an objective up his sleeve.

...Am I being too picky? I know as we get older, we eventually come to realize what we want in a relationship and the above is to name a few. But back on topic, How can I change my mindset so I can open up doors to meet potentials?

Btw, You might say Im not over this last guy yet but I broke down the wall for him. He told me he's not ready. He's put me through a lot of emotional BS which now I feel I cant trust to give my heart fully to him if we tried. To that, I have no choice but wait for something good to come along?

...Sorry for the typo. Im venting and expressing my random thoughts. Any thoughts, feed backs, suggestions, or perspectives would greatly be appreciated. Thanks! Heading out to the the BBQ. PEACE!

[Kromat83]

You almost see like everyone will be just as bad as the last.
Have the men you dated only been from your culture ?

Basically what your saying is that only Asians may approach you ?
You have too high expectations in the dating scene.
I wouldn't be surprised, even if he might be a good catch, you still probably think he needs to be perfect.
In reality , we're not all perfect.
The only person that knows how who are, is you.
Visit new environments and trying out new hobbies.
You need a specific to focus on this, to have any potential.

[goodluckchuck]

Its a filtering process. You can't beat the system. Trust yourself and go with the flow. You'll know if he's worth your time once you get to know him more. Also Don't sleep with him right away or you'll feel left used.

[goodluckchuck]

Also try dating older men. They are more mature and can handle a health relationship.

[goodluckchuck]

Also try dating older men. They are more mature and can handle a healthy relationship.

[meloveulongtime]

No, Im not racist or anything, i just prefer men who are more cultured so that they may understand my tradition. As Americanized as I am, I'd still like them to be able to understand me.

All and all, I think I was over analyzing things because today's BBQ went great and I met a lot of great people, both male and female. I even made some new business connection. Sounds crazy but I guess the douchey personality goes hand and hand with the business worldish.

I'm just trying to get out there and meet new people I guess, and in hopes I may bump into a potential. Slowly but surely Im learning to accept the dating world and how to work around it.

[goodluckchuck]

You'll figure it out, melove.