your definition of cheating??

[Wakeup]

but do you guys think a lapdance IS cheating? The thought of him going on a stag scares me. The thought of a stripper rubbing her boobs in his face makes me so freaking angry. I cant stand the thought of it even though deep down I dont think hed do that anyway. he hates those places and he hates cheap women. He doesnt even watch porn for christ sake. What the hell is wrong with me??

Even if he did get a lap dance it's not going to kill you. He loves you and he's with you and if you think that would be cheating then you tell him that and that you'll leave him if he ever has one. PERIOD. If he values you then he won't have one. If he does have one then he doesn't value you and you're better off without him. That is the confidence you need to aspire to achieving. That you will be fine and it will be wonderful with him but if it's not fine, you will still be fine without him. Mind over matter, little missy.

I mainly keep it all inside. A few times while I was drunk all these insecurities came out and I started asking him loadsa qs and I cant even remember. a few times Ive cried at night and hell cuddle me and say you have nothing to worry about, I love you, your my world and Id never hurt you and I do believe him. Its just the anxiety takes over. When Im thinking rationally, I am fine but then the smallest thing can trigger it like someone mentioning someone they know who had an affair or something on the TV. I avoid watching certain programs or the topic of infidelity in general coz I dont wana trigger another anxiety attack.

Okay, you're going to push him away if you're crying at night and he has to reassure you all the time. Not to give you another anxiety attack. Yikes!

You're probably not alone in your phobia. Have you googled to see if there are support groups or forums geared directly toward what you're mentally going through?

[toknow]

Lap dance is cheating, not only because of what it represents visually, but also the reasons for having it.

If someone truly loves you, you'd not have to worry about this, as he would not feel the need for another woman. If he truly loves you, the thought of touching another woman would repulse him, let alone having sex with one.

[Valixy]

Our daily life is full of negativity starting with simple comments people make, films we watch, articles we read, the news on TV, etc. I am sometimes surpised that we survive being exposed to so much negativity all the time.

A friend of mine all of a sudden started to think of death, be very afraid of it, couldn't sleep, etc. many years ago. She started to read a lot about that and found some buddhist books that simply gave her a new look on life and her confidence and peace of mind back. Maybe you simply need to understand some things about relationships at the moment and there is plenty of material available. Just give it some time, spend some quality time with your boyfriend, enjoy yourself and you'll start feeling better. However if this continues, you'll want to follow some of the advice already given and speak with a profesional about it.

[stev123]

How are you a sex addict if you pay for women? prostitution is the oldest profession in the books, hell it's probably cheaper buying an escort than having to go out on a chase buying drinks, taxi etc. It's just a release, no more. A lot of men do it because it's a lot easier than having to have a relationship, and if you're in a relationship would you label having lots of sex all day addiction too? come on.

[confusednow]

Ya Wakeup I totally get that and I know he wouldn't get one anyway. He has no interest in that. I would leave if he ever hurt me and I know I would be okay, id get over it. Even though I love him and want to marry him, it wouldnt be the end of the world if it didnt happen. I know time heals all wounds etc

but this damn anxiety just wont go away. I dont feel normal

I did go to the doctor and I cried in there for like 30 mins trying to explain how I feel. He gave me sleeping pills coz I had not slept properly for months and after a few nights sleep I felt much better but now I feel awful again.

I know i prob am depressed. a lot has happend over the past 3 years-life hasnt been easy and my bf has been my rock during all those really tough times, I feel like i was really strong then too when everything was so hard but now that everything is fine, im falling apart. My bf always says im the strongest person he knows and hes proud of me but i dont feel it right now. I feel like im close to breaking point

[Valixy]

[QUOTE=smackie9;906863]Life is not perfect, nor are we as human beings. We will have moments of weaknesses and moments of strength. You shouldn't be worried about "What if this happens...." Just have confidence in yourself that you will have the strength to deal with whatever life will throw at you.

Really like these lines!

[Wakeup]

stev... Post #19: You've quoted the wrong person. I don't think it's sex addiction... It's michelle you should be quoting. Don't make me come up there and hit you lol

[stev123]

Ya Wakeup I totally get that and I know he wouldn't get one anyway. He has no interest in that. I would leave if he ever hurt me and I know I would be okay, id get over it. Even though I love him and want to marry him, it wouldnt be the end of the world if it didnt happen. I know time heals all wounds etc

but this damn anxiety just wont go away. I dont feel normal

I did go to the doctor and I cried in there for like 30 mins trying to explain how I feel. He gave me sleeping pills coz I had not slept properly for months and after a few nights sleep I felt much better but now I feel awful again.

I know i prob am depressed. a lot has happend over the past 3 years-life hasnt been easy and my bf has been my rock during all those really tough times, I feel like i was really strong then too when everything was so hard but now that everything is fine, im falling apart. My bf always says im the strongest person he knows and hes proud of me but i dont feel it right now. I feel like im close to breaking point

The issue isn't your boyfriend, you have some serious paranoia/anxiety, get it sorted out that's not healthy for anyone in a relationship.

[stev123]

Bah, either way you get what i mean, and I'd like to see you try

[Wakeup]

life hasnt been easy and my bf has been my rock during all those really tough times, I feel like i was really strong then too when everything was so hard but now that everything is fine, im falling apart. My bf always says im the strongest person he knows and hes proud of me but i dont feel it right now. I feel like im close to breaking point

Do you have any sort of life or support system apart from your boyfriend because if you don't, it's certainly understandable why you're so paranoid should you have to leave him over an infidelity. Who would you have if you didn't have him? Not good, so please tell me you have lots of friends, hobbies, things you do that keep you happy.

[confusednow]

How are you a sex addict if you pay for women? prostitution is the oldest profession in the books, hell it's probably cheaper buying an escort than having to go out on a chase buying drinks, taxi etc. It's just a release, no more. A lot of men do it because it's a lot easier than having to have a relationship, and if you're in a relationship would you label having lots of sex all day addiction too? come on.

i looked it up and apparantly sex addiction is sex without any emotional attachment. Apparently men and women are supposed to bond emotionally through sex and if its just sex and means absolutely nothing more than a release to him like having a wank-its sex addiction. I found something like that on robert weiss website-i was given to me by michelle a few weeks ago. Hes a relationship expert and an expert on sex addiction. Apparantly other experts agree such as dr phil, gary chapmen

[Wakeup]

Bah, either way you get what i mean, and I'd like to see you try

*looks for No. 6 Cast Iron frying pan* lol

[confusednow]

Do you have any sort of life or support system apart from your boyfriend because if you don't, it's certainly understandable why you're so paranoid should you have to leave him over an infidelity. Who would you have if you didn't have him? Not good, so please tell me you have lots of friends, hobbies, things you do that keep you happy.

Yes i have great family and lots of friends. im very close to all my family and he is to his too. i also work. I suppose i dont really have much hobbies. music calms me down and reading and i have a pet who i adore

[stev123]

i looked it up and apparantly sex addiction is sex without any emotional attachment. Apparently men and women are supposed to bond emotionally through sex and if its just sex and means absolutely nothing more than a release to him like having a wank-its sex addiction. I found something like that on robert weiss website-i was given to me by michelle a few weeks ago. Hes a relationship expert and an expert on sex addiction. Apparantly other experts agree such as dr phil, gary chapmen

Don't spend too much time on the internet, not everything a bunch of bloggers and other bullshitters say is true. Listen to my advice, go to a therapist or seek some help for you anxiety and paranoia over your boyfriend, he's been with you for 6 years - that's a lot of time and no one would give that up so easily if they're happily in love. Don't let your paranoia ruin your relationship between this guy.

[Wakeup]

i looked it up and apparantly sex addiction is sex without any emotional attachment. Apparently men and women are supposed to bond emotionally through sex and if its just sex and means absolutely nothing more than a release to him like having a wank-its sex addiction. I found something like that on robert weiss website-i was given to me by michelle a few weeks ago. Hes a relationship expert and an expert on sex addiction. Apparantly other experts agree such as dr phil, gary chapmen

I suppose if he's married, getting sex regularily from his spouse and still going out regularily to pay a hooker for it then yes it would be considered a sex addiction. People who just pay for sex when they are between partners, and don't do it in leu of having a partner when they could actually have one, then it would not be considered sex addiction. You have to take details into consideration, Confused.

I found something like that on robert weiss website-i was given to me by michelle a few weeks ago.

Is that when you're anxiety and paranoia began? O.o.