Originally Posted by
confusednow
thank you for ur response. its good to know someone shares my view on things. i no its irrational and its all in my head. i dont no how to get bac to normal and feel like me again. i hate worrying so much and bein paranoid. i was never like this before. i got some really good advice from michelle. i pm her 2 or 3 weeks ago and she said something like we cant control what others around us do, we can only control our own behaviour and if someone hurts us, we can hold our heads high coz we aint done nothing wrong and just walk away and find someone better which makes a lot of sense. im not afraid of getting hurt. its living a lie that scares me and not knowing the truth. i can handle pain-just dont wana be lied to
We all hate being lied to, putting our trust in someone completely, and then being devastated, I know because it's happened to me and MANY others. That's where you get the understanding that no one is perfect and you never put someone on a pedestal. My girlfriend was 8 months pregnant and told me on my birthday that she found out her boyfriend cheated on her the week before and I sat there consoling a soon to be mother who was heartbroken on that betrayal. I told her this though, and what he did was beyond repair to many, I told her do you stay because of baby or do you stay because you still love and want him to remain a part of your life? Or do you leave still being strong and yourself and carry on? I mean I told her, from what she said to me that he honestly made a mistake, that he had a selfish moment and was scared and of course he can never make that up, but if you want to be with someone, and they want to make it up to you, and earn that trust back then fine, if you can forgive, then do it, if you can't then move on. I couldn't forgive that, but she decided she could and that's been over a year ago. The fact why I understood what she did though, was because he was HONEST with her despite what he did, he came and told her because she deserved the truth. We can all say, "if he did love you, then he wouldn't have done it to begin with." But sometimes we do things that we don't even understand why we do it ourselves. We error because we are so human and forget to care for our fragile selves. I think he is still a good guy to be honest with you, I have a hard time trusting him for her too but he is good, and he carries the weight of his deed every day as he should. He treats her the same and from what im told, they talk about it sometimes without fighting and just as I said, he didn't know why he did it, he just did, no lame excuse for it, and she accepts that as is. I know though I wouldn't forgive, me and baby would have left and never looked back. Period, but I guess you have to be the better person and do some soul searching to decide that kind of thing. Everyone is different.
“I was never really insane except upon occasions when my heart was touched.” ― Edgar Allan Poe
Wish for a pile of shit to turn into gold hard enough and guess what? It's still a heaping pile of shit.