Hi Everyone
The situation is kind of tricky now. We are in a live in relationship. I acted being a bad girlfriend and I checked his email. I know I am very bad on my part but he was on craiglist. Talking to people guys and girls both.
We had a really big fight one week back. It was a bad fight because we decided to part our ways and he was drunk. That was the day when he made a fake email id and craiglist account. After a full day when I went home after work I found him sleeping. He woke up and started felt sorry to me about fight and so does I (as it was mistake from both side). Later in night we were suppose to go somewhere and in hurry I used his laptop and tried to login to my gmail account. To his bad luck, his fake account was open and I saw all his replies to different ads in craiglist. At that time I left it like that and did not said anything to him thinking that he was pissed off and in drunken state. Next day I came to office, he was sorry about his behavior for that fight and tried to become nice to me. That day around 4 (my office finishes at 4:30) he messaged me that he will be waiting for me at home. Come home soon. Things became normal.it was Friday. Over weekend just for curiosity I opened his fake account as he keeps same password. I found him sending a message to girl on Friday asking her pics or if she wants NSA relationship. Even then I didn’t ask anything from him. Over weekend there was no activity. Yesterday i.e. Monday he got up around 11 checked his emails. I was in office. I opened his fake account. That girl asked for his picture and he sent it to her at 12:40 PM. I called him and asked is this what you do. He said what I was doing there. I did not said anything. Was in a shock state. Even he did not called me for whole day. Around 3 I gopt call from him which I did not pick and then a message that he knew he did something very wrong which he should not have done at first hand. He knew he hurt my feelings and trust in him and if I want this relationship to be over, he will not raise a single question and accept my decision. At same time he said he know I do not trust him anymore, but I also broke his belief that I am watching him (keeping an eye on him). I did not replied yto his message neither I reacted.
In evening when I went home. I met him. He was standing there. I looked at him did not said anything. He came to me and stood there. I looked at him and he was ashamed. I asked him if he have any explanations. He said he was just having fun chats and was never going to do anything with anyone. (same thing he said in message as well). He promised me that he will never do it again and will never give me a chance to explain. I just told him that do you know how much I am hurt due to this and I lost trust in you. He said yes but at same time I lost his trust as well as I looked into his emails. He said me sorry (normally he is not a person who says sorry…). He was sorry about his deed and we talked very calmly about it. I asked him if he thinks something is missing between our relationship or he is not happy with me. He said we have wonderful life together and I find you perfect girl for me. Then I asked why you did this. He said just for curiosity and fun. He was never going to meet those girls.
He said see I deleted that account. I said I do not want to see. But he showed me that fake account was deleted. I told him that I am hurt and m in state of shock (it is true). He said sorry to me several times yesterday, was coming to me to soothe me. I just did not botherd it as in my mind other things were running. He said he will not do anything stupid like this. What to do? I do not know if I am going to give him another chance or going to leave him…I love him and he loves me. We have great love life together. Till last fight everything was so beautiful. We had this bad fight and did stupid things. But this thing just shattered my trust in him.
I asked will he be ever to create the same trust that I had in him. He said he will. He will do anything to build my trust in him but I have to tell him how he will do it. I told him that is his job to know hw to build my trust in him again. Please tell me what should I do? I do not want to be upset anymore it affects my work. Neither I want to be stupid or foolish. I need really mature advice or suggestions from you guys.