Is it just me...

[homefry]

are we being negative and cynical if we don't fall for it?

Aren't you being negative and cynical by continuing to visit this forum?

[searock]

Aren't you being negative and cynical by continuing to visit this forum?

Did you even read the rest of his post?

To answer your question - if anything, it's being positive and hopeful to continue visiting this forum despite all of the depressingly similar questions some of the people that come here ask. It means we still believe we can help at least someone, and that it's worth to try and help those that are willing to listen.

[dickriculous]

Aren't you being negative and cynical by continuing to visit this forum?

Uhm....what?

Cynical means you believe people are motivated by self interest and you doubt the integrity of people as a whole, negative means you tend to only see the bad side of things. What set of circumstances exists that makes it to where posting on a forum gives someone these attributes?

[Wakeup]

I came here originally seeking some input on some things going on in my life. I was amazed at how some of the responses I got were overly judgmental and accusatory. There was no gray area open for discussion with some of these people and they were not really interested in my thoughts on my situation, just their own bias. Then, as days passed I kept coming back and as I read more and more comments by some of the same people I began to realize just how inexperienced and clueless some of the people passing off their version of good advice really are. I pretty much just check back in for the entertainment factor of it all now and offer up my opinions when I think its appropriate. Funny thing is, I am a married guy who has been with the same woman for 23 years, never cheated nor plan to, have lots of practical real world relationship experience, and yet I am one of the most hated men on this site. I have lived what I speak and that just plain pisses off the inexperienced who speak what they have not lived. Oh well, they will learn..... eventually.

Must be lonely at the top, Crazy.

[Am I crazy?]

nope, not lonely at all. I have lots of company here.

[stev123]

nope, not lonely at all. I have lots of company here.

Where have you been after last night, was it too rough?

[homefry]

Uhm....what?

Cynical means you believe people are motivated by self interest and you doubt the integrity of people as a whole, negative means you tend to only see the bad side of things. What set of circumstances exists that makes it to where posting on a forum gives someone these attributes?

As you said, there are plenty stubborn and cynical people posting. You may not be catering to their stubborn needs in saying what they wish to hear, which they see as negative advice, but simply reading the posts and trying to persuade someone with those characteristics is cynical in and of itself, since you doubt they will even take your advice. They in turn get frustrated and perhaps backlash. Therefore, making the whole experience negative. Nevertheless, there are those few who are open to any advice and may get a positive experience.

[Am I crazy?]

Stev,

Never too rough, I just have lots of other stuff to do. I come and go

[Wakeup]

I've looked around but I've not been able to access the butterfly farts, fairy dust advice giving site. I think they've purposely hidden it from moi. :o)

[michelle23]

dont get offended or frustrated by strangers on a forum OP. its silly to let it get to you. we are asked for our personal opinion and thats what you get so a lot of it is biased. thats the way it is. if you want unbiased advice see a shrink but even they are secretly judging you. its just human nature

[basilandthyme]

Of course, professional advice is preferred. But who can afford it? That's why we're all complaining on here.

Sure, as long as you're aware and accepting of the fact that you get what you pay for.

[dickriculous]

As you said, there are plenty stubborn and cynical people posting. You may not be catering to their stubborn needs in saying what they wish to hear, which they see as negative advice, but simply reading the posts and trying to persuade someone with those characteristics is cynical in and of itself, since you doubt they will even take your advice. They in turn get frustrated and perhaps backlash. Therefore, making the whole experience negative. Nevertheless, there are those few who are open to any advice and may get a positive experience.

Sorry but I can't say I've ever actually seen this happen, and I can't imagine any of the regulars here would say anything different. Even those of us who are prone to giving "negative" advice at times will give posters the benefit of the doubt at first with only a minority of exceptions. Nobody just assumes that a new poster won't take anyone's advice. First they show that they won't listen to anything that doesn't pander to what they want to hear, THEN everyone's tone changes.

[okwhat2013]

I think the main point is that it is an "advice" forum not an "answer" forum. Like any advice, even in the real world, understand the source, but the main advantage is you get other points of a view on a topic hopefully with some past experience. However, all you can do is educate yourself as much as you can so that YOU make the most educated decision possible. One problem, we are talking about "love" something so complicated and abstract that no one can ever be right or wrong.

[Starnique]

Is it just me or is everyone on this forum pretty cynical, pessimistic and bitter? From the treads that I've read, doesn't feel like anyone has anything optimistic thing to say or point of view. Mostly all negative and very defensive advice. Curious on how many people on this forum have been cheated on... is that why there's such a negative out-lash?

Yes. It is just you. You're definitely the problem.

[VincenzoG91]

Crazy, it has been explained to you repeatedly that you are emotionally cheating. Your refusal to comprehend that fact is part of your problem. But keep at it, and have fun when you end up in divorce court.