How do I get my ex back?

[youcanever]

Hey pals,

I've been dating this girl for 5 months. We had an on and off relationship. I'm crazy about her, but she is not that crazy about me. Even before we broke up she told me, she sees me as a friend more than a bf. And I asked her then why she is with me, and she said she is with me because I support her. That killed me.

And then we broke up. Actually she broke up. And there was nothing I could do.

I know there is billions of women etc, but I'm still crazy about her. I want her.

Relationship ended 2 weeks ago, and I haven't talked to her for 10 days.

I'm at rock bottom now. I'm crying all the time, don't enjoy anything. I lost 6 kg, I stopped socializing. I even spent my last 2 days in bad, watching movies and crying.

The only good thing happened to me in this last 2 weeks is that I got a new job and it is my dream job. But still I can't focus on it fully and my efficieny is not so good. I'm still thinking about her all the time. I'm creeping on her. Checking her whatsapp status, count of her twitter tweets, her facebook profile picture.

Damn, this is just too hard.

I'm sure some of you experienced what I'm experiencing now.

What should I do? How can I get her back?

Thank you.

[Onthemend]

Hi,
First of all, remember that you're not alone and many people go through the same agony as you. I've had a breakup, 5 days ago, a first breakup and I don't know how to cope with all those feelings at once myself. I'll do my best to give you some constructive advice though.
If you are an emotional wreck (sorry for blunt wording), you might want to consider a therapy, talking about it with another person could help very much. I know it sounds hard for you and might sound ridiculous, but try to get your mind off her and calm your mind by doing things you love and meeting friends who love you unconditionally. Listen to music, it helps me alot. Avoid triggers that could make you emotional, hide things that remind you of her. Physical exercise also helps.
What I think you need to do now is to rebuild yourself. Breakup feels like it has taken a big chunk of you and healing that state is a necessity if you want to function normally. Try doing some things for yourself. You might want to improve your looks, perhaps start learning a language you've always wanted to learn.
Then, after you've found joy in life again and left the rock bottom, you might think again if you really want to win her back. If yes, the odds will be more on your side, than if you would try it in the state you are in right now. She will realize what a caring and loving guy she has left and change her mind.
I know what you're thinking, "easier said than done", but if you can find comfort in the thought that you're working towards winning her back.
For now, I'd discourage you from contacting her until you know for sure that you're stable again. And DON'T creep on her mate. It's like pouring lemon juice mixed with salt on an open wound. I know how tempting it is for you to "check what she's up to", but it harms you for now. Let it heal.
Best wishes, I really hope you succeed

[Ariel]

What kind of support have you provided? Emotional? Physical? Financial? This already suggests somebody who was perhaps selfish and manipulating the situation to her advantage. I'm sorry, I know you don't want to hear this.

Also, I'm afraid if she sees you as a friend that is probably not going to change. This is not definite. She may in fact, over time, miss you and realise what she had but presently it appears that she doesn't have that romantic attachment towards you. Unfortunately there's nothing you can personally do to win her back, in this situation it's clear that the break up is not something that can be worked on - you can't make somebody feel a certain way - the best thing you can do is get on with your life. Stop moping around at home, get dressed, go out and have some fun. Move on with your life. Find something that interests you or keeps your attention enough so that you're not constantly thinking about her. At the moment it probably feels like you will never recover from this heartbreak. This isn't true. It does take time and will take time. Just be patient. And keep focused on your goals in life.

If she does return, you must question why - did she genuinely make a mistake or does she just simply miss the support you provided? Be honest with yourself.