What is she trying to tell me?

[IWMYAC]

I met this woman and we've had dinner twice. She cancelled our first full date night due to a business trip. We talk often, for hours at a time. I'm 45 years old and it's probably been 20 years since someone could occupy my attention enough where I wanted to do that. But she confuses me because it seems that I am always the one initiating contact. When the ball is in her court she does nothing with it. I feel like I'm carrying this on my own and I'm getting to the point where I don't make contact because it feels needy. Mind you I'm very cautious not to reflect that. In fact when I feel that way I'm more likely to back off than show it. I really like this woman and the conversations are great. She's engaged, happy. But she doesn't introduce anything into the conversation and I'm a little tired of thinking of fresh things to talk about. What is she doing? I'd say just take the hint dude and leave it alone. But I feel like she's into me and something else is going on. I want to hear form the ladies on what this type of behavior means. How should i take it?

[Ann S]

Are you saying you want to sign up to be the entertainment committee? This sounds like a woman who is not very creative. Or, maybe she is just the type of woman who wants the man to take the lead over, and over and over. YOU get to decide if this is enough for you. Ann

[IWMYAC]

Are you saying you want to sign up to be the entertainment committee? This sounds like a woman who is not very creative. Or, maybe she is just the type of woman who wants the man to take the lead over, and over and over. YOU get to decide if this is enough for you. Ann

No. It's not. And now that I think about it she has not asked me one question about my life. Everything she knows about me I have volunteered as an incidental to another conversation. She likes to be complimented, paid attention too but she doesn't reciprocate. Vanity is at play but there is something else and I think I already know the answer. I've been unfortunate enough in my life to have gotten involved with 3 married women. Many years ago, and it'll never happen again. I feel I can sense when someone want's to be available, but isn't. She may or may not be married per se. But something is going on. Thanks for the opinion.

[Ann S]

You are welcome. I think YOU might benefit from investigating why YOU are attracted to women who can't completely give themselves to you. Because they're not emotionally unavailable? This could be an intimacy issue. Until you solve it, chances are you will be attracted to the same old merry-go-round. Good Luck. Ann

[IWMYAC]

You are welcome. I think YOU might benefit from investigating why YOU are attracted to women who can't completely give themselves to you. Because they're not emotionally unavailable? This could be an intimacy issue. Until you solve it, chances are you will be attracted to the same old merry-go-round. Good Luck. Ann

Excellent advice but I was referring to mistakes made no less than 15 years ago. I have no intimacy issues. It's just unfortunate that this woman appears to be one of those you speak of.

[4 ratties]

Frankly this girl just sounds a little boring. Idk her life so maybe she's really busy or something. You guys do have good conversation at times which is good. But from what you say, it sounds like in general, she's very passive and not as talkative as you'd like. She may be the one for you, maybe not, I'm sure you could find a woman more interested in your life than that, but you may really like her, so maybe give it a chance. Your call. Sounds like its already bugging you quite a bit though.

[Jaque]

I'm feeling frustrated and restless just reading this. Sigh. Are you talking with any other women? Maybe you'd be a bit happier with someone more responsive...

[IWMYAC]

I'm feeling frustrated and restless just reading this. Sigh. Are you talking with any other women? Maybe you'd be a bit happier with someone more responsive...

Yes I am! Or rather, one at a time. I don't put myself out there for more than one at a time. In other words, yes - I am on the market and now looking for the next contestant I'm moving past this one.

[IWMYAC]

Frankly this girl just sounds a little boring. Idk her life so maybe she's really busy or something. You guys do have good conversation at times which is good. But from what you say, it sounds like in general, she's very passive and not as talkative as you'd like. She may be the one for you, maybe not, I'm sure you could find a woman more interested in your life than that, but you may really like her, so maybe give it a chance. Your call. Sounds like its already bugging you quite a bit though.

You may have a point here. Yes, I think she is boring. I need more than this. So regardless of the cause, I'm out.

[michelle23]

im glad you have decided to forget her. she does sound awfully boring and perhaps she is hiding something. follow your instincts anyway-its time to say NEXT .

[Sparkling]

wow she sounds dull!