Having second thoughts about a guy I've liked for as long as I can remember

**numberone** · 09-06-13, 03:59 PM

Ok basically I've been crushing hard on this boy since freshman year of high school. He's always been the cutest, funniest boy ever since i can remember. I was a year behind so I never really talked to him much, but he's good friends with my best friend's brother... so I got to know him at little parties and stuff. He was always the life of the party even back then. So anyways I saw him three times last summer before I went to boarding school and it was amazing, I didn't have sex with him but he was the best kisser I've ever met. Anyways I told myself and my friends that this summer I would finally hook up with him for real and try to date and stuff.

So fast forward to now. I just got done with my final year of boarding school and he got done with his first year of college in the states. We grew up on an island in the caribbean so everyone comes back from school for summer vacation every summer. The thing is, I just got done with school, while he's been down there since May. My friends that have been there during that time have been telling me all these things about him. Like how he's a douchebag.. basically he jokes to my friends saying things like I wonder how Nicole(me) feels about this.. while he's hooking up with other girls or showing off hickeys. Or how he parties way too hard (I've heard stories of him getting kicked out of his dad's own resort nightclub, stories of him doing lines off the bar) so basically he's been trashed for the past entire month.. and just tonight my best friend was messaging me about how he was hooking up with an old classmate of ours and how he got her to smoke black and mild cigars with him. Also he turned her brother onto dipping tobacco.. so needless to say she doesn't like him and thinks I need to avoid him.

I'm torn because some of my friends.. especially my best friend do not like him. However, I have talked to him a bit over the last month and he's told me that he can't wait to party with me and how he wants to continue off from last summer. I think he's an amazing guy. I don't like a few of his traits, but when its me and him together.. theres nothing better than that.

I don't know what to do. I don't want to make a mistake but at the same time I've been waiting so long to get with him again.

Is it worth it?

**searock** · 09-06-13, 05:55 PM

Honestly, he sounds like a douche... I understand that you've been idealizing him for years, but the truth is, the sweet funny guy you had a crush on when you were younger is long gone.

Wait until you see him again until you decide what to do... don't sleep with him until you're sure he's not a complete jerk. Trust your instincts.

**TablesandChairs** · 09-06-13, 08:57 PM

Depends on what you want. If you just want to have some no-strings attached fun with a party boy, go for it. If you want some sort of relationship that extends beyond clubs, alcohol, one-night stands and drugs...I think you more or less know how that's going to go. You've already got the information so if you find yourself disappointed later on, who can you blame? The guy has shown his spots, it's up to you.