Stuck in the past

[lostone8]

Okay, I suppose I should start at the beginning. I've been with my current for almost 3 years. He is very possessive and doesn't like me even talking to any of my ex's and/or guy friends. He is the first guy that I have ever been with, who has been this jealous or protective. Well we have been having problems in the bedroom for a while now. Its me, some how I just stopped working one day. I've been to doctors and no one can explain it other than maybe stress or something. Honestly my ex has always been in the back of my mind. I catch myself thinking about him and how much different it would be if I were with him. So I started thinking that maybe if I apologized for how it ended, it would solve my problem. Didn't work.. I started thinking seeing him would change my mind, since we hadn't seen each other since before we broke up. I kept myself from messaging him and tried to keep myself from thinking of him. He has messaged me a few times, he wanted to meet up, I put him off, but then it bothered me that I didn't take the chance at what I really wanted to do. See if seeing him would change anything. Well he messaged me this morning and wanted to meet up and talk. I convinced myself it was the right thing to do, since I've been wanting to do it for a while. We met up, talked, and everything went fine.

Now I'm not sure what to do, my current flips out at even the mention of my ex's name. I feel guilty for going with out telling him. Although it would have resulted in a fight, and he probably would have taken my car away, so I couldn't go. I really want to tell him when he gets home, but I am now afraid of what will happen.

Would you tell him or not? Am I still in love with my ex? Am I ever going to get completely over him?

Also another little bit of info is my current has only been with one other person. So to me he doesn't really understand everything.

Thank you to anyone who replies! I will be waiting!

[lalalita]

Take your car away? Um, sweetie, I think you have a bigger problem here than if you're in love with your ex of not. The only person who has the right to take your car away is the person who is paying for it. Don't take behavior like that from a man, or anyone. It's one thing to be jealous, it's another to be controlling.

[4 ratties]

Most people don't like their significant others talking to their exes.. I thought that was kind of a given. Unless you have kids with that person or it's a special situation, no one should be talking to their ex. Your bf is goin to flip a lid, especially if he's already a protective/jealous guy. Sounds like u need to break up with your current bf since u don't seem into it and your meeting with other guys now behind his back.

[lostone8]

Its a constant battle to get to him to hangout with anyone, even his own friend. He doesn't talk to any of his family, and has no where to go. I've been called a whore and been told that I chose the path that is my past. I know I have said some hurtful things also, but I just cant get over that part. I have tried to but it is always there. I don't want to involve my family or my friends, because I don't want them hating him. I really wish I knew what to do. I feel like if I leave or breakup with him, I'm giving up too easily. And yet if I keep dragging it out, will it get any better? or just get worse? I've brought up the "break" thing before and he said that there was no point to that. I won a vacation and he cant go because of his background. So I decided to take my sister with me, I didn't think it would cause any problems. Well apparently it is selfish of me to still go, if he cant go. He has told me multiple time that he might not be here when I get back... I love him but I am so confused..

[4 ratties]

Your boyfriend has problems. If a guy doesn't talk to his family, doesn't talk to friends, then something is wrong with him. He should be happy for you and supportive of you going on a trip with your sister. Threatening you with " I may not be here when you get back" is absolute crap. That is not what your looking for in a boyfriend. You know you two aren't meant to be or you wouldn't be posting. Really think about things and what would really make you happy.

[Boisdevie]

I love him but I am so confused(

You got that right. You're in a crappy relationship and you love him? Why?
I'd be out of that door in a microsecond. Life is too short to put up with relationships that don't work. So why do you bother staying with him?