advice on someone ive been dating

[Stars323]

hey, i am a 22 young female. ive been dating this guy for nearly three weeks now. hes lovely when im with him, always seems to want to touch me, as in hold hands, cuddle and arms around me, always looking in my eyes, makes me feel like he really enjoys my company. he lives 5 hours away, but hes been working around where i live. but he gone back home now, and keeps telling me how sad he is. But i feel he doesn't seem to want to talk so much now, i asked him if he ever saw us being more than what we are and he said "i don't know, depends on you" "why not, we will see" so i said you know forget what i said because i don't want to ruin anything. Now ive heard nothing from him. i understand that he is not interested, but now ive lost someone i enjoyed spending time with and talking with. is there anyway i can turn it around so he understands id just like him as a friend, than loosing all contact. i know three weeks wasn't a lot, but we spend most of the time together, its hurt me a little.

i seem to be ruining it with all the men by asking questions like this. i only asked him so i knew where i stood and if i should be dating other people too ..
please can i get advice.

[michelle23]

you dont lower your standards for anyone girl. its better to be straight up and honest early on and if he is unable or unwilling to give you what you want-you walk away and meet someone who will.

it doesnt matter how much you like him or how much you enjoy his company. its about compatability and your not on the same page. plus he lives 5hours away! why would you even bother?

cut contact and move on.

[Stars323]

thanks for the advice, may not have been what i wanted to hear..but its the truth. i just feel like im a nice girl i dont harm anyone..but i never get the guys to stick around..

[4 ratties]

I felt the same way as you.. Like
No one sticks around and Watchin all my friends get married and have babies while I was having one month flings with guys after guys. A couple months after turning 22 I found a guy that has stuck around .. For 8 months now. I swear it will come, just never can tell. It usually always happens when u least expect it. I had just given up and was embracing being young, and then came my boyfriend, aggressive to get me as his girl, which I was used to doing all the work. It was a nice change having someone pursuing me and that's what us girls deserve.

[Stars323]

I felt the same way as you.. Like
No one sticks around and Watchin all my friends get married and have babies while I was having one month flings with guys after guys. A couple months after turning 22 I found a guy that has stuck around .. For 8 months now. I swear it will come, just never can tell. It usually always happens when u least expect it. I had just given up and was embracing being young, and then came my boyfriend, aggressive to get me as his girl, which I was used to doing all the work. It was a nice change having someone pursuing me and that's what us girls deserve.

Thank you. that gives me a lot of hope. its horrible as all my friends are settled down, so i don't go out much to meet new people. and when i do it doesn't last. thanks though..sort of made me happy hearing that x

[michelle23]

maybe you have bad taste or your too available and put too much effort in at the start. let him do the work, follow his lead and set your standards how. women are not meant to chase men and if your dating someone new every month it just makes you look desperate and sad. stop trying so hard and youll meet the right guy.

you should have the right attitude-tell yourself "im a strong, confident, independent, beautiful, intelligent woman and i deserve the best" when you have that kinda confidence you will attract the right type and you will have all the power when it comes to picking and choosing, being fussy and ensuring you get everything you want and more

[Stars323]

ok im sorry to be a pain again!

i listen to you michelle, and he started ringing, and ringing and ringing..txt after txt. so i answer and i say i how i think we should stay friends and start dating other people!!

and he didnt like it at all, saying how much he misses me and he likes me a lot. why am i dating this guy, who is he? and i explained..and he said..well i told you i like you a lot, but what can i do.
whats this mean?

[michelle23]

does it matter. HE LIVES FIVE HOURS AWAY! do you really want a long distance relationship? if yes, then tell him you really like him too but your confused about what he wants. if no,'tell him the distance is too much.

its hard to have a stable relationship if he lives miles away. how can you be sure hes trustworthy? that he doesnt have a wife and kids at home? that hes not seeing other people etc..

its hard to build trust with long distance especially if you havnt been to his town, met his family, friends, been to his home.

he could also be really genuine but it is hard to spot red flags or warning signs if you only see him once a month.

red flag number 1: v little communication with him since he went home. red flag number 2: he backed off-didnt seem too bother, then when you did the same you got obsessive texts and phonecalls. thats a sign of narcissism

just thread carefully. tell him you wana get the train to see him this weekend. if he makes excuses-forget him