Is not being able to define yourself as a certain way a bad thing?

[AbigailR]

Yesterday I was hanging out with my friend and she basically said I was weird because I like variety. It's true I have a variety of interests. I could wear a sundress and heels one day, and a band t shirt and sneakers the next, or maybe a flannel shirt and some boots. I like all different kinds of music. She thinks this keeps me from attracting men because they can't get a feel for who I really am, and makes me seem indecisive, but I don't get it. I just genuinely like different things. How is that bad?

[basilandthyme]

Abi, your friend is talking shit. The person you *really are* is versatile and has many interests. You don't get pinned down by fitting a certain mould, but instead you enjoy the many facets life has to offer. I think this is far more interesting than being a person who is always the same. If a guy has half a brain, he will see the benefits of you - that you can enjoy everything from Classical music to Rock. You can go from being girly to getting out and dirty and not caring about breaking a nail.

The one thing which is good to not vary enormously is your inner self. Being kind and thoughtful (but not a pushover) every day is the way to go. That's not to say that you can't have a bad mood and express it, just make sure to do it in a nice way. For example, some people have a bad day and cruelly take it out on their partner - but a nice person says "I had a really bad day today. I just need x and y. And if my mood is a little off, it's nothing you've done"

keep up being the interesting person that you are.

[AbigailR]

Thanks. She thinks she knows everything just because she's married. I should really stop listening to her lol.