I'm getting tired, what should i do?

[bash]

Ive been with my boyfriend for more than a year now, courting stage was great but as months passes by things changed. I somewhat know this would happen but not to this degree. now he doesn't pick me up when going somewhere I usually go to his place and barely sends me home too. I know his a busy man and most of the time tired because of work but sometimes I feel really bad about it. one time he told me he was so tired without sleep, a friend invited him to a party and he was willing to go. but whenever I ask him to visit (even if he was going somewhere really close to my place) he just tells me his tired and has some things to do. when we are together were fine, but he only gives time for me like once a week even if he has an extra day.
oh and now we barely go out on dates too. BARELY. been months since we last went out.
So to cut this short, the effort now is always coming from me.
We have talked about it, he tells me he's sorry and he knows he hasnt been an effective bf.. he changes but only for a week or two.

[michelle23]

break up with him. Why are you settling for this BS? It sounds like you are just being used for sex and possibly not the only girl in his life. Hes always "busy" or "tired", never takes you anywhere, makes no effort, you put in ALL the work. Those are ALL red flags.

Its a one-sided relationship. Your giving, hes taking. You would be happier on your own. Its time to get out now and dodge a bullet

if you stay-that makes you co-dependent. Look it up. Hes not gonna change.

I bet when you dump him, hell make all sorts of promises, swear to change blah blah blah but then it will all just go back to normal again after a month or two if you give him another chance so dont bother wasting any more time.

there are better men out there who will put you first and treat you right. Go find one

[basilandthyme]

Bash, the obvious answer is 'he doesn't match your needs, so break up with him". But I'm wondering why you haven't done this already

[bash]

Thanks for the advice. I know.. i often think of breaking up with him.... yes, think. But then i start remembering the way we used to be. I dont know maybe at some point i am hoping that he will still change. He is a good guy, but just not showing any effort, or maybe im just too blind right now. I needed a reality check and thanks for giving me that. if we're like this right now, if he's all selfish right now, what more in the long run right? i hope i do find the courage.

[Lovedragon]

I agree, I could never treat my girl like that. I want to be with her all the time, even after 7 years.

[michelle23]

Thanks for the advice. I know.. i often think of breaking up with him.... yes, think. But then i start remembering the way we used to be. I dont know maybe at some point i am hoping that he will still change. He is a good guy, but just not showing any effort, or maybe im just too blind right now. I needed a reality check and thanks for giving me that. if we're like this right now, if he's all selfish right now, what more in the long run right? i hope i do find the courage.

You just have to do it. Its like ripping off a bandaid. During the honeymoon period people are on their best behaviour, you dont see the real person till that wears off. This is HIM. He aint gonna change and you need a clean break. There are better guys in the world