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Thread: what does sleeping with your s.o. mean?

  1. #1
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    what does sleeping with your s.o. mean?

    just a quetsion I have been thinking. what's the difference of sleeping with your boyfriend/girlfriend against sleeping with some random guy/girl on a one night stand?

    i'm sure it means more with your boyfriend/girlfriend buy why? how do you know?

    why do you get the urge to sleepw ith a random person? is there any feelings?

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    Because we're lustful and greedy, we want something different and more of it.

    To me one night stands have never been appealing, so I never went that route, but I guess, you could consider it as a type of sport(?) When you`re with your significant other, you tend to try harder and or slack off at times, because you know she/he will love it or forgive it. When you're with some random person, you don't really have to care at all, but you try your best to leave a good impression (hence the sport).

    I guess it's more like a "heat of the moment" kind of thing. You meet someone who you`re physically attracted to, so you want to explore how far you can go. Besides lust, I don't think there are any other feelings involved.
    Last edited by Archie; 20-06-13 at 06:36 PM.

  3. #3
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    I've never slept with a guy that wasn't my boyfriend, so I can't tell exactly what the difference is. I just know that when I have great sex with my boyfriend, it's very emotional and when we finish, I feel twice as bonded to him than I was before. It's like some substance gets released in my brain that makes me love him harder, or something. We also have good sex (as opposed to great), and in those cases it's not so emotional but it's still very pleasurable since there's lots of chemistry between us.

    The only reason I could think of for wanting to sleep with a stranger is that I was horny to begin with, and I happened to find him attractive (mind: not "good-looking", I mean that I would be actually physically attracted to him). I do sometimes fantasize about sleeping with strangers, but I don't think I'd actually enjoy it - way too awkward and embarrassing.

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    For me its about feeling comfortable and relaxed and I feel that way with my bf. I couldn't sleep with a stranger. I would feel awkward and I wouldn't enjoy it at all. I do believe sex does strengthen the emotional bond between two people but I am not a very emotional person so I don't equal sex with love and I don't expect it to be loving, gentle, romantic etc every time but at the same time I couldn't sleep with someone that I don't have any emotional attachment to. It would just feel wrong.

    I did have a one night stand which turned into a fling once and it was awful. Lasted about 2 weeks. Never again. I feel soo uncomfortable, couldn't relax, tense, didn't enjoy it and wanted to run away after. Now I understand the term chewing your arm off.

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    Quote Originally Posted by michelle23 View Post
    I don't expect it to be loving, gentle, romantic etc every time
    Me neither... I actually get bored easily with that kind of sex. It's ok to have every once in a while, but most of the times I need more passion and "impetuosity" to really enjoy it, both physically and emotionally. The best sex is when we both lose control, which is just the reason I don't think I would enjoy sex with a stranger: I couldn't lose control with someone I didn't trust 100%.
    Last edited by searock; 20-06-13 at 06:53 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by searock View Post
    Me neither... I actually get bored easily with that kind of sex. It's ok to have every once in a while, but most of the times I need more passion and "impetuosity" to really enjoy it, both physically and emotionally. The best sex is when we both lose control, which is just the reason I don't think I would enjoy sex with a stranger: I couldn't lose control with someone I didn't trust 100%.
    Ya that just summed me up perfectly. We have a lot in common

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    I don't do one night stands either. I would be so worried about if he has stds.

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    my current girlfriend has had one night stands so i jus wondered if sex with me meant anything different

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    I hope some people who have casual one-night stands chime in on this topic, as I'm genuinely curious. To be honest, I feel like a big part of what makes sex so intimate for me is knowing that we're sharing something with each other that we wouldn't be sharing with just anyone. It's not even the sex so much as just being naked with each other when we wouldn't do that with other people. Like just a short while ago my husband and I were taking a nap snuggled up next to each other in the nude. It felt so personal feeling just having his bare skin against mine. Is it still as personal or intimate when you've shared the experience with so many different people?
    “This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movement of small green pieces of paper, which was odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.” ― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

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    Quote Originally Posted by markthespot View Post
    just a quetsion I have been thinking. what's the difference of sleeping with your boyfriend/girlfriend against sleeping with some random guy/girl on a one night stand?

    i'm sure it means more with your boyfriend/girlfriend buy why? how do you know?

    why do you get the urge to sleepw ith a random person? is there any feelings?
    In a word: Comfort.

    I love sleeping with my wife. I sleep longer and more deeply when we're in bed together than I ever have before. We wake up with arms and legs tangled/thrown over each other. I run hot and she runs cold... so the blankets are usually piled on her and a thin one or none on me; She calls me her furnace. We have a small bed and don't want a bigger one. Her morning breath, and my farts don't scare each other. It's just us.

    None of that was ever true with a one night stand.

  11. #11
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    I agree with the above posters about the higher level of comfort with a long term partner as opposed to a one night stand. When someone has seen you naked hundreds of times, knows what you like/dislike, it's just a more complete feeling. One night stands are usually, at least I find, somewhat rushed and uncomfortable.

    I also have MUCH better sex with someone I am emotionally connected to.

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    Quote Originally Posted by fearoflove View Post
    I don't do one night stands either. I would be so worried about if he has stds.
    Hopefully, you would use a condom. You could be with someone for a long time and if their not faithful or maybe had a previous issue they didn't know about could be a problem. You should be careful either way.

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    Ya important to still have checkups etc even in a committed relationship. I trust my bf and we dont use condoms and i believe he wouldnt cheat but i ways have smear/swabs done at least once a year anyway

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    Quote Originally Posted by Starnique View Post
    Hopefully, you would use a condom. You could be with someone for a long time and if their not faithful or maybe had a previous issue they didn't know about could be a problem. You should be careful either way.
    Condoms aren't 100% protection from anything though - even with condoms she should still be careful.

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