This hurts like hell - ex-wife- I haven't cryed in a year.....

[blackiesharley]

I was dumped by my my ex-wife of twelve years about a year and a half ago. Reasons still unknown, 'we just grew apart.'

We stayed in touch on a friendly basis. I've had a few half-assed attempts at relationships since then, but they've all been nightmares.

I'm moving from L.A. to the Gulf of Mexico and am buying a house there. The bank that's lending me the mortage needed some loan documentation from the house that my wife and I owned jointly. I had no choice but to ask her for it. She readily agreed, in fact called my lender (with my permission) to ask exactly what was required. She's spent all day digging through her records and has FAXed my bank everything. I had a nice plant delivered today to thank her.

She just called me to say that everything is all done, all papers are in order and are at my bank.

Damn it! I still love her, I didn't realize it until tonight. How can something so perfect just explode in our faces?

I'm thinking about taking her to dinner, just be blunt and say 'put your cat in a carrier and get your ass on the plane, we're back together (her name), we'll make it work'

I haven't cryed in 1.5 years, but I am now.....

[Innova]

As much as I'd love to see a happy ending, you can't force something that isn't there. It's sucks, but unless half of her is wanting to come back...then you have to move on..or else things will just continue to get worse.

[lozzybug]

I would say to tell her how you feel. you only live once and you may always regret it if you don't. at least if you know then you can really try to move on. But maybe you need to remember the reasons you got divorced in the first place...do you think it would dissolve again?

[blackiesharley]

I would say to tell her how you feel. you only live once and you may always regret it if you don't. at least if you know then you can really try to move on. But maybe you need to remember the reasons you got divorced in the first place...do you think it would dissolve again?

My feelings exactly, after today/tonight. She was SO nice and helpfull. I'll give it a shot and at the very least have dinner or lunch brfore I leave. Actually, we've agreed to do that.

Why did we get divorced? I can't tell you as I don't know. Like I said, just grew apart I guess, financial pressures, work related problems ???? I KNOW that there was no one else in her life.

In twelve years we NEVER had a fight (maybe we should have) Up until the very end we were very compatible sexually (rare). Same taste in music, supported each other in small business ventures, enjoyed our home life/cooking, pets, etc. Different religous values, but I respected hers and she respected mine. Our families were even friends. I just don't know....

I'm not giving up on this quite yet, it was a near perfect marriage. 1.5 years after divorce, if it's over, it's over I'll move on. But I'll give it one last shot......

Ever see that movie from the '80s, forget the name but I think it was Burt Reynolds and Goldie Hawn where there was a great line 'I want to talk to my best friend but YOU ARE my best friend.'

That's how I feel.

[lozzybug]

go for it then, there's obviously still love there to be rekindled. let us know how you go

[misombra]

well maybe you were meant to come into contact with her for a reason. she seems a lot more together then that other weirdo you were dating...

[indigosoul]

Man that sucks. Really sorry for your feelings. But I'm confused... how can a marriage of 12 years just SUDDENLY end w/o warning. Unless she had some kind of brain malfunction & forgot who you are, this makes no sense. Nothing happens in a vacuum; there must be some reason you're not saying.

If you are truly clueless (which I doubt) then there is no way you will EVER get back together w/her unless you find out those reasons... Good luck.

[blackiesharley]

well maybe you were meant to come into contact with her for a reason. she seems a lot more together then that other weirdo you were dating...

No kidding! (Weirdo is not a strong enough word for that one.)

Here's something even stranger. We split up but still lived together platonically while we prepared the house for sale. After the sale, she moved, I moved. That same weekend my best buddy of twenty years moved, changed jobs and he lost my phone number. I lost his. I tried every way on Earth to get in touch with him, as did he.

Two weeks ago my ex calls me to tell me that she was walking down a street in L.A. and who does she bump into? Him. Phone numbers exchanged, all is good now.

But think about it. Seven million people in Southern California and they run into each other on a sidewalk? Kinda errie.

[misombra]

hmmm, that is quite strange.

well i'm sure you could get into a conversation with her if she agrees to meet with you. she went through some hassle to make sure things worked out right for you, and that signifies to me some genuine concern.

i don't know details as to exactly why things didn't work out between the two of you but hopefully things work out. suerte.