Is it possible? Girls?

[tzz4fun]

Ok, since no one here knows me I have no reasons to lie or something in this post, here's the thing:
There's this girl I had a crush on, I met her like 6 months ago, we had a lot of dates and conversations, but mostly like friends, I really wanted to get to know her. And I did. And I fell in love. One day I told her about my feelings (I knew it would make things weird between us, but I am sure it was the right thing to do) and she was upset, she told me she was shocked to hear that (I'm sure she wasn't THAT shocked). We didn't talk for like 2 weeks, then we talked once in a while, first time I called her after 2 weeks she was very excited about it (her tone at least). It's funny that a lot of time passed, I don't think about her so often, once in a while she pops into my head. But she is the female version of me. I mean we both did the same things when we were kids, we have similar tastes, we can soooooo easily anticipate each other and so on, it's like we are the same person. I'm not in love with her anymore, it was just a crush, but I know there can't be someone who is a perfect match for me more than she is.

Now here's the question (and guys, buzz off. I've seen a lot of guys answering in this "ask a female" topic, men and women don't think the same, so I'm really not interested in your opinion here): is it possible for you girls not to have feelings for a guy now, but have them after a year, let's say? And in this one year period you don't see the guy at all. After a year, his physic is different, his attitude is different and so on. Is it possible? I currently have a girlfriend, she's hot, really. But I can't bond with here like I did with the girl I was telling you about. I just know she's the one for me. I can't explain why, but I just know it ...

Thanks for your time

[tzz4fun]

And don't give me that "Blaaaaaah if it's meant to be it will happen and blaaaaaaa" ... just be strait and honest.

[searock]

First of all, I think you should break up with your girlfriend. You clearly don't think she's the one for you, and by staying with her you are just wasting her and your time.

You still have feelings for the other girl, otherwise you wouldn't have opened this thread. So here is what you should do: break up with your girlfriend, then contact the other girl and ask her to meet up. Once you meet her, tell her that you have always liked her and ask her if she has changed her mind about dating you. She will likely say that she hasn't changed her mind, but at least you will have tried.

[tzz4fun]

Yeah, no, I don't know :| I mean I think I could kill for her if needed (not literally). I don't know if I have come to peace that she doesn't want me, I can't force love, you know... or if I'm blind and I don't see the situation as it really is. I mean I didn't even kiss here, and with this other girl I have sex. Why do I care for her so much? God, how I hate this sht.

[searock]

Don't worry, these feelings happen to everyone. You sound very young, a teenager perhaps... it's perfectly normal to have such impetuous feelings, it's part of the hormonal storms of that age. We've all been there. It's not love, it's just infatuation/limerence. It will pass :-).

I think you know that you need to break up with your girlfriend. She deserves a guy who loves her entirely, and who wouldn't "kill" for any other girl and who doesn't wonder whether he has come to peace with the fact that another girl doesn't want him. The longer you drag on this scam of a relationship, the more painful it will be when you inevitably do break up. Just do it, don't wait for "the right moment".

As for the other girl, you literally have nothing to lose by asking her out again. Maybe she will change her mind, maybe she won't... just give it a try.

[tzz4fun]

Thanks for this advice, topic can be closed, no more answers needed. I'm gonna try make her break up with me, I don't want to make her suffer, I'll figure out a way to do that. I know it's not love, that's what worries me. And I'm not attracted by her physical appearance, if she gained 100 pounds tomorrow I would still have this weird feelings for her. Meh, I'll figure it out.

P.S. I'm 24

[tzz4fun]

Damn it, this just came on the radio )
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=he53q1WaKL8

[searock]

It's good that you want to break up with your gf, but I think you should be honest with her and straight up tell her that you aren't feeling it anymore, rather than "make her break up with you" and make her feel guilty for hurting you and so on. She deserves to know the truth IMO.

Don't worry about the other girl, you've put her on a pedestal for some reason (maybe she reminds you of an important figure in your childhood or something), but you will get over her eventually. You just need to take a step back and see things from a different perspective.

[tzz4fun]

I know why I put her on that pedestal: because she's exactly like me. I mean she didn't know if she wanted to study journalism or law school so she flipped a coin. I DID THAT when I didn't know if I want to study law or psychology ... I mean who does that? And there are thousands of things like this, it is really awkward. She fell from a boat in the same river I did when I was a kid. When we noticed all this weird coincidences I asked her to think about a number from 1-50 and at the count of 3 to say it out loud. We both said 27 (number not related to any of us). There are things that I can't explain so you people understand. She's only 19 and she only had one boyfriend (and she's a virgin). They are classmates so she can't avoid him. He broke up with her, and got a new girlfriend 2 weeks later. After 6 months he came back to her on the 14th of February and they were together for another 2 weeks and he broke up with her again to go back to the other girl. I figured out she lacks trust in men now ... she needs time and I'm ready to give it to her, but I just need to know I have a shot. I don't wanna wait for nothing.

[smackie9]

I say no, attraction is usually an instant thing and if it wasn't there before, well it won't be there later. As for your GF, if you are not feeling it, you are not feeling it. It would only be fair if you just broke up with her and let her find someone else who is more emotionally available.

[michelle23]

your infatuated by her. you have no idea what a REAL relationship would be like with her. you dont know the good the bad and the ugly about her. All you know is this perfect woman you have created her to be in your mind as you look at her through rose tinted glasses while she sits on a pedastal. its a crush-not love.

i doubt her feelings will ever change and i think the only way for you to get over her and move on with your life is to accept that.

dont try to get your gf to dump you-thats the cowards way out. be honest and end it now.

wait till your over your crush before starting a new relationship

[searock]

Plus, the fact that she's only 19 means that you likely wouldn't work out anyway. At this point I'm just going to say, don't even bother asking her out... just forget about this infatuation (rationally you know full well that all those weird coincidences you mentioned have no meaning whatsoever), you'll meet someone with whom you can start a real, strong and loving relationship.

[toyboy]

Plus, the fact that she's only 19 means that you likely wouldn't work out anyway. At this point I'm just going to say, don't even bother asking her out... just forget about this infatuation (rationally you know full well that all those weird coincidences you mentioned have no meaning whatsoever), you'll meet someone with whom you can start a real, strong and loving relationship.

age aint nothing but a number

[searock]

age aint nothing but a number

That indicates maturity amongst other things. 24-19 is too big of an age gap for it to work long-term.

[Empty Road]

I'm gonna try make her break up with me, I don't want to make her suffer.

That's not too hard. Just let her catch you wearing her clothes and makeup.