My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost three years and both go to college together. We are really happy together but sometimes I really feel so unappreciated.
My boyfriend has always had financial problems (he grew up fairly poor and his mom can not afford to help him much at all). I admire that he supports himself through college with working and being a full time student. I have never let money be a deal breaker in a relationship, but lately we have gotten in a pattern where he is usually almost completely broke (after paying rent, phone bill, school supplies ) and he is dependent on me to eat and for my car. I cook dinner like every night and unless I share my food with him he would have nothing to eat besides ramen. He uses my car like it's his, but doesn't have the money for gas. If we go to his mother's house its on me to fund the trip. And honestly I don't mind that much, but I really feel unappreciated sometimes. I don't think he realizes the weight I'm carrying to feed us and transport us. I'm using my money for $50 a week groceries and filling up the car constantly transporting him back and forth to work.It gets tiring to ALWAYS be the one to have to pay and NEVER be the one who is treated to things. It would be better if he actually would say " I am so thankful that you do this". Yes, he does say thank you at dinner, but how do I explain I need more thanks and appreciation? Soon he will be coming into a little money ($1000) and I need to find out how to ask him to pitch in more without saying "I pay for everything, help me?". I don't want to hurt his ego by reminding him that he depends on me (I can already tell it hurts him without him saying so), but how do I make him understand that he should not expect me to pay for it all once he has more money? And that I want to be paid for sometimes without sounding like a gold digger? Sometimes when he has like $20 I will say "Oh hey you can pay for some dinner" and he gets annoyed and says "Thats why I never tell you when I have money, you just want to spend it". What is that supposed to mean? I pay for everything and I ask to be treated once and I am a gold digger?