Why don't most men like to cuddle after intimacy?

[Starnique]

Men aren't mind readers. It seem like they should know some things but they don't sometimes. They have no problem telling you what they want so go for what you want. I normally just snuggle closer to him and lay my head on his chest, press my chest on his and rest my leg across him so he can caress me and talk for a little bit but if they start to doze off or something or I do, I just move to my side but not too far. We dont got to be wrapped all up on each other but I like to feel their skin and their body heat.

[dickriculous]

There's major hormonal differences between men and women and when a man busts a nut he usually just wants to be left alone and feels no compulsion to cuddle. I'll do it to make my gf happy but honestly, it feels empty and forced if it's immediately after I blow my load - I believe a rush of prolactin is what's responsible for this. I've heard of research being done on drugs that inhibit the production of prolactin to the point of eliminating the male refractory period - be interesting to see what becomes of that.

It's just one of those avenues where you both have to compromise having what you want all the time and focus on the other a little bit, and understand that you have different needs.

[Starnique]

^^^Very true. I remember my bro said that sometimes after he busts he comes to his senses and don't want to be bothered with the girl depending on who she is. Lol. Anyway, I dont have to cuddle after every time we do it. Sometimes we can just do it and be done after that, go to sleep or whatever.

[searock]

What about oxytocin, that both women and men get after an orgasm? Isn't that supposed to make both want to cuddle and bond?

My ex boyfriend would be extremely cuddly after sex. To the point where it actually got annoying for me. My current boyfriend varies, sometimes he likes to cuddle and sometimes he just wants to get on with our lives "as if nothing happened".

[basilandthyme]

I roll over and go to sleep afterwards. So, I'm thinking that it's not necessarily a guy thing....

[Simpo]

I honestly love to cuddle after sex but my girlfriend doesn't! She just goes off and starts playing with her ipad or watching vids on her laptop which annoys me. Communication is key, but trying to communicate to them about this sort of thing without them being offended is tricky. I feel I can understand and communicate very well but I need to ask her if there is anything wrong before she decides to communicate with me about these things.

[searock]

I honestly love to cuddle after sex but my girlfriend doesn't! She just goes off and starts playing with her ipad or watching vids on her laptop which annoys me. Communication is key, but trying to communicate to them about this sort of thing without them being offended is tricky. I feel I can understand and communicate very well but I need to ask her if there is anything wrong before she decides to communicate with me about these things.

It was the same with my ex: he would always insist on cuddling and I almost never felt like it, which would make him offended etc... it wasn't nice (he is my ex for a reason, we weren't compatible). Have you tried telling her you'd like to cuddle after sex? What did she say?

[michelle23]

I honestly love to cuddle after sex but my girlfriend doesn't! She just goes off and starts playing with her ipad or watching vids on her laptop which annoys me. Communication is key, but trying to communicate to them about this sort of thing without them being offended is tricky. I feel I can understand and communicate very well but I need to ask her if there is anything wrong before she decides to communicate with me about these things.

If she gets up immediately after and is occupied with other things-it may mean she didn't cum. You could have a faker on your hands. Orgasm makes you just want to lie there for a minute or two and enjoy the dopey feeling that rushes to your brain.

Im not very cuddly after sex. I like to hold each other for a minute when were done with him still inside me and I like kissing him, his face, neck, arms etc for like a minute and then I normally turn my back to him and he cuddles me and then we fall asleep. Sometimes I feel energized after sex and want to talk for a bit and then I get horny again lol.

He is very affectionate in general. Even if he turns his back to me to fall asleep-he always turns back over and cuddles me like 5 times during the night and I wake up with him wrapped around me in the morning and he always kisses me goodbye and says "I love you" and the first thing he does when he comes home is give me a kiss and a cuddle.

I love my man, he is great

but anyway ill give you a few tips if your not sure whether she is faking or not.

[lalalita]

Some men just aren't cuddlers. You can ask for it, but he may only do it a few times before falling back into his natural pattern. If the rest of your relationship is going well and he's loving and attentive, I wouldn't read too much into it. I've had men latch onto me after sex, men who want to just lay back and cool off (ie: zone out), and men who fall asleep. (All from the same guy, even! It just depends on the sex, I think)

[smackie9]

Get up and make him a nice sandwich....he will cuddle you for sure.

[smackie9]

communication is the most important thing.

orgasm sends a rush of dopamine to the brain and it makes him sleepy. dont take it personally. as long as hes affectionate towards you in general it doesnt mean anything.

This is true, and women usually gain energy after sex....this is why I say use that energy to make him a nice sandwich, or even provide a cold beverage like beer.

[fearoflove]

I don't like cuddling after sex. Ugh...when our body is all sweaty and heated. It is not pleasant. Although cuddling during a movie on a chilly day is nice.

[sadbunnyface]

I had one bf tell me he doesn't like being cuddled in bed because he can't stand all the body heat of cuddling, if he is too warm/hot he can't sleep. LOL

[jonnybegood]

I love to cuddle afterwards, get in a few kisses, gives me chance to recharge and we can go again, if we're having playtime I've no interest in sleep, I'll sleep when she's satisfied & not before!

[UnderTheMoon]

What about oxytocin, that both women and men get after an orgasm? Isn't that supposed to make both want to cuddle and bond?

My ex boyfriend would be extremely cuddly after sex. To the point where it actually got annoying for me. My current boyfriend varies, sometimes he likes to cuddle and sometimes he just wants to get on with our lives "as if nothing happened".

You ever think back on something when you close your eyes, and you see that image in your head and depending what it is, you can feel how you felt in that moment? Oxytocin imprints the memory in your mind, sometimes its so strong a smell can trigger that imprint and leave you happy, or upset. Women experience this stronger than most men on average because of the amount of other hormones within the body.


I love cuddling up and falling asleep, do that long enough for me to fall asleep and your good to go. Haha, I did date someone who was worse than me though, I couldn't stand it.