Hi, my name is Sarah, I’m 19 and I truly need some advice, so could you help me?
The thing is, I like a friend of mine, a lot. We know each other since high school, we are both in college now, in different universities, so we talk most of the time by Facebook, and we talk a lot.
In our chats we always say stuff that makes me wonder if he likes me or not, well I argued with him a few months ago, and he said that he knew I liked him, but he did not wanted a serious relationship and he thought that I wanted, so even though he had feelings for me (his words) he never said anything because he did not wanted to hurt me. Well, I do not want to date him, it’s a little complicated, he’s a good friend, but he is very silly, and it is fine for me, if he’s just a friend, but not as a boyfriend, the problem is that somehow I can’t stop liking him.
We are talking again, and since I told him that I liked him, and that I did not wanted to date neither, he said that we could have other kinds of relationships, then I started to talk about sex, and he said that FWB was a kind of relationship if I was talking about that, and I was, but then, I said that I was a virgin he did not believed me at first, but I explained why I’m a virgin and he understood.
We talked about that later, he said that he was a little concern about the fact that I’m a virgin, but if I wanted to be FWB he would go for it, then he asked me if I had really thought about it. And I said that I would give him an answer later, that was two weeks ago, and I never said anything about it since, and he did not ask so far.
The problem: I really want to have sex, I want it bad. But I never dated before, I never been kissed to be honest. I'm very shy. I do want to have sex, I would like to have sex with him, because he cares about me, he is a good friend, and I want to lose my virginity but not to anyone.
I’m afraid of getting hurt, because I like him, I do not want to date him, but I would like to be with him. And I think that if I start a FWB relationship later I may want a real relationship and he may not, and I would not know how to deal with it. So what do you think should I go for it? Or should I stay as friends?