Ok, so I never really post but everyone keeps telling me what I DON'T want to hear which is, go with it. NOT what I want to hear from my friends or family. So this is what is going on. When my sister passed away my boyfriend of the time, broke up with me two weeks later which I posted about in the broken hearts section. I stayed away from him after that because he did try to come back, and I refused it, he left me when I was at a crucial point in my life and that kind of hurt, is something I find unforgivable. This is not the ex I will be talking about from here on out.
So it has been six months and I am fine, I am not dating because I know I am not ready for it, but.. BUT.. an ex of mine who had been all over the country after finishing boot camp finally came back to the state and found out about the death of my sister, some how found a way to get a hold of me and asked me to drinks to talk and I was fine with it. We had a great talk and I enjoyed his company. When we dated, he was close with my sister, she treated him like one of the family and they really got along, for my sister it was hard when I broke it off with him. She tried time and time again to get us back together and I wasn't having it. I love her, and always will but I was furious with her back then for trying to push something I no longer wanted. So while we were talking and laughing I really found myself having a good time. The thing is, during this whole time we were together I did not have a single thought of wanting him back, it was just nice to talk about someone I hadn't seen in so long and reconnecting and sharing where our lives had went.
We went on a walk and kept talking, when we got back to my vehicle my back was turned and I felt him slide his fingers into my hair and grasp a hunk of it and turn my head to him, I couldn't turn my head away and I was getting angry, I had no idea what the hell his problem was, and before I knew it, he was kissing me pretty hot and heavily.... needless to say I froze and more or less quit breathing, I couldn't believe the boldness or why it was happening so suddenly. What really makes me mad, is I tried to turn my head away several times and I was locked in. I will be honest, I found it kind of scary and someone humiliating because I have always been very quick to get away from something I didn't want.
When he finally let me go, I just got into my car, gave him the finger, and pulled away. He called me on my way home and told me, it was just a kiss. The thing is, I don't take kissing or anything else that can be intimate lightly and I have just ignored him. He KEEPS CALLING ME AND TEXTING ME. I thought he wasn't this kind of person because he never was before, but this is a stranger to me. I feel angry and frustrated and I just want him to fade out back into no mans land where he belongs.
What gets me fumed even more, during our talk he said "I have a girlfriend but she treats me like shit." My response to that was, you should find a good girl if this one is so bad. None of my business though.
So what do you all think? How should I make it even more clear I don't want him to be this way and that we should just go our separate ways again, I already tried through my own means, but my ways are not working as well as they normally do. What should I do?
Did I also mention the fact that he asked me to get a hotel room with him for the night and ditch out work the next day? I laughed that one off and told him hell no. I think what also makes me mad is I don't need his girlfriend coming at me when I am the one who got away from him because of the way he was acting. It really is all a mess.
Good advice will be appreciated. I really feel confused because I have not been in this kind of situation before. I am not one to become someone's EA, nor am I someone to allow someone to do something wrong behind a S/O back.
As I said at the top, some people tell me I should just do it, others say to get him back and I am fully against those answers.
Thanks for advice in advance.