I'm falling for a neighbor.

[surfhb2]

You guys are good for me. Thanks.

I'm trying very hard and I know I will be successful in combating this infatuation. I have already been successful in not allowing myself to be alone with Jane - not even for a minute. I guess my biggest challenge right now is that my mind is totally consumed with thoughts of Jane. Many times those thoughts are how I'm going to overcome these feelings but it is still thinking of HER.

I have to admit that this is the strangest thing I have ever experienced. I have been through a lot (a whole lot) in my lifetime but never anything like this. This thing hit me like a freight train - but I'll work my way out somehow. My wife and my family life are far too important to risk on any kind of infatuation like this.

Now that's a man !!!

[VincenzoG91]

Stay strong and resist the temptation. Besides, when a guy does leave his wife to be with the other woman, it's non unusual for the other woman to abruptly lose interest. Sometimes due to the guilt of busting up the marriage, sometimes because the guy just doesn't seem as interesting as he was when he was forbidden.

[Anna1408]

Well you know it would be quite a blow for your wife if anything came of this relationship. Imagine how hurt she'd feel knowing you were lusting after a younger,pretty woman....

[namemyname]

Good job, Simon.

[michelle23]

well done simon. you are doing the right thing and should be proud. now you just have to find the strenght to get her out of your head. individual counselling may help you with that if you are struggling.

look up emotional affairs. do as much research as you can so you have a better understanding of what is going on. it may help you to realize that all this is a fantasy and reality with this woman would prob be far different to how you imagine it.

look up other peoples stories on other forums too so you can see the regrets these people have

best of luck to you

[surfhb2]

.....And With michelles great advice don't forget to flush your computers history cache afterwards. ! Haha!

Don't want to see a good man get in trouble.

[Maple1714]

OP - You are the same age as my father. I often wonder if he has ever thought about other women besides my mother? He is an attractive older man and women love him. But, at the end of the day I know my father is one of the strongest men in the world and he would never allow himself to go there. So, you have to be strong for your family. If Jane comes over to your house, leave the room or go into town or somewhere else. Just leave. Stay away from her. Your fantasy will never come true, as most here have said already. Learn to shut your mind off by practicing thinking about other things....read a book...go fishing...do something. Every time Jane comes into your mind you need to consciously change your thoughts. It's hard trust me I know!! But, it can be done and in time you will think of her less. Let the fantasy stay a fantasy...that way in a sense you are having your cake and eating it too. Leave the fantasy in the past and look back at the situation as something you conquered. Look back later down the road and be proud of yourself, and thankful for not giving in to lust.

Your story reminds me of that movie Bridges of Madison County...hahah. But, she did have a physical affair (Hollywood)...but in the end she chose her family and husband.

[Millie]

Hi Simon to me, you come across to me as a good man in an emotional crisis who wants to do the right thing by his wife and I commend you for that. I have a question though, the first thing you wrote when you started this thread was that you had fallen in love with your neighbour, which is about the strongest statement you can ever make about another person, but then in the second post you clearly state that you have no intention of leaving your marriage and in the third you referred to your situation as an infatuation. I'm sure it is possible to be both in love and infatuated, but if you're honest do you think it's one or the other or both? It sounds very much to me more like infatuation than love, and while I don't think age differences matter really once you get past a certain age, I'm sure it's got to be flattering to be getting that kind of attention from a woman 15 years younger than yourself, but are the feelings you have really anything more than that? Yes, you and Jane clearly made a connection that your wife most likely wouldn't be happy about, and given the kissing incident I think those who advised you to stay away from Jane are right, but that isn't going to stop you feeling the way that you feel, if anything I would think trying to put a lid on things would just turn you into an emotional pressure cooker and I don't envy you that at all. Sorry I'm probably not being at all helpful here, I just question whether or not this thing you have for Jane is really love - to me it sounds more like lust than love.

[Simple Simon]

. . . . I have a question though, the first thing you wrote when you started this thread was that you had fallen in love with your neighbour, which is about the strongest statement you can ever make about another person, but then in the second post you clearly state that you have no intention of leaving your marriage and in the third you referred to your situation as an infatuation . . . .

Millie, I know I have not been very clear on some of the silly things I have posted but please try to understand that I'm not myself these days. My mind has been a total mess for weeks now. I'm sure there are times when not even I know what I'm saying.

I have done very good for the past two days with pushing my thoughts toward other things. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. With all the work around here it's easy to push thoughts of her aside for a while but those thoughts keep coming back. This is going to take a while and it's a very hard thing to do.

I'm sure this thing will be history in a short while. I just wanted to reach out to others to see if there were any tricks or ideas on how to control my thoughts and dreams (and how to get some sleep). I know I've said this before but this has been so weird. So weird. I'm an old fart and things like this are not supposed to happen :-)

[namemyname]

Aww...you're rather endearing, Simon. lol

Tell yourself you're only allowed to brood on Jane for 20 minutes a day. So, when thoughts of her crop up, push them away until your 20 minute window.

[UnderTheMoon]

Have you had problems with you wife?

[Simple Simon]

Have you had problems with you wife?

No not really. But I must admit that our relationship has slowly changed over the years. This is probably very common. I would say that as the years tick by our marriage has been less-than-exciting. I stay busy with the farming chores and she stays busy with the domestic chores. I would guess that 90% of the older married couples experience a definite decline in their sex life - menopause, lack of testosterone, and a gazillion other things that get in the way. And now that I look back on our 40 year adventure I realize that our marriage has never been "hotter than a pepper sprout" (I'll bet you guys don't remember that song). My wife has never been very romantic and I have just accepted it. I remember when we were dating and during our early married years I used to get concerned that my wife would get like her mother. My mother-in-law was very businesslike with everyone even her husband. Never a kind word or show of affection - all work and no play. My wife is just like that nowadays.

We have never been much for arguing, fussing, and fuming. Sometimes disagreements have resulted in cold wars but not many big explosions. Just like two old turtles, we keep our heads down and trudge along with all the farm work here. It has become a way of life.

[Empty Road]

You are a good fella Simon.

[michelle23]

No not really. But I must admit that our relationship has slowly changed over the years. This is probably very common. I would say that as the years tick by our marriage has been less-than-exciting. I stay busy with the farming chores and she stays busy with the domestic chores. I would guess that 90% of the older married couples experience a definite decline in their sex life - menopause, lack of testosterone, and a gazillion other things that get in the way. And now that I look back on our 40 year adventure I realize that our marriage has never been "hotter than a pepper sprout" (I'll bet you guys don't remember that song). My wife has never been very romantic and I have just accepted it. I remember when we were dating and during our early married years I used to get concerned that my wife would get like her mother. My mother-in-law was very businesslike with everyone even her husband. Never a kind word or show of affection - all work and no play. My wife is just like that nowadays.

We have never been much for arguing, fussing, and fuming. Sometimes disagreements have resulted in cold wars but not many big explosions. Just like two old turtles, we keep our heads down and trudge along with all the farm work here. It has become a way of life.

Obviously I am young so I cannot comment on how ageing can kill the romance but I firmly believe that the romance goes when one or both of you stops trying. I know it must be hard to have that talk with your wife after all these years of accepting this is the way it is but I strongly recommend you tell her how you feel. Just say how you miss the affection, intimacy and romance of your younger years and wish you could both bring it back. Tell her the truth that you are really craving more than what you two have right now and you would love her to work with you to recapture that spark from years ago. write it in a letter to her if you find it difficult to put it into words. Bottling things up and pretending your happy does not help anything and it is not a solution. Offer to take her on a picnic down by a lake

[michelle23]

btw a product I can recommend is Argi+. It is a natural health and wellness product full of vitamins and mineral and anti-oxidants. It is great for the cardiovascular system. But an added bonus to this product is it can really boost the sex drive.