Love Hurts So Much That I Hate It?

[nnkc911]

Hey guys, I really need help. I am feeling so empty now that I googled "love forum" to share my feelings and made an account. Please read my whole story.

2 years ago, when I was 15, I had my first crush back in my hometown malaysia. She was an awesome korean girl. My feelings grew after knowing her for a year. It was really complicated as my feeling grew, she suddenly fell in love with my best friend and went out together. I could not express how much it hurt back then.

Fast forward 2-3 years (now), I moved to Australia for about 20 months now, and met my mother's church friend's daughter. When I first met her, I wasn't really having a crush but just kinda interested and was still in the process of moving on the one back in malaysia. As I move on, I started getting really interested for her. Then one day, which was 3 days ago at youth camp, I fell in love with her. I just couldn't help it. It really hurts because everything about her is just so perfect in my eyes. I know i am suffering from oneitis but no matter how much I tell myself that she is not perfect for me, the more I keep finding that I wont find anyone like her anymore (and it is true). I can understand if my friends take a look at her and say she is just average but I just can't help to notice that she is sooooooo attractive for me. I really can't stand it now. I keep trying to recall how much I hurt back then but it hurts even more bcos i just cant find how me and her will work out. I would say we are good friends atm. Also, she invited this guy to the camp and I may have just realized that both of them have mutual feelings. I am soooo doomed!!! I dont want to live everyday feeling that way.

I would do whatever it takes to have her in my life. What should I do?? I have not told anyone that knows her that i have feelings for her except my school frens since they cant do anything about it. This story sounds so cliche but i really really really have too much feelings for her. I would even want to marry her anytime. (i can believe i am writing this tbh) She has no idea i have feelings for her. We always talk casually like good friends. What should i do? It is really awkward i can imagine if she knew since i have always been like a good friend to her.

Do you guys have any experience of loving someone sooo hard that you think u will never feel the same anymore for anyone else and there is no one like her? Cuz i am feeling that way.

[HeartIsAching]

That ain't love, it's infatuation, sorry. It'll get better, I promise.

Love doesn't hurt. Love isn't exciting or full of drama. Love is quiet. Love is peaceful. Love is comforting.

...and yes, I have experienced what you're going through when I was young. Wasn't love for me either, but I thought it was.