Hi there,
My boyfriend and I are 23, and have been dating for almost 3 years.
We've had our ups and downs, dating while also growing up in a lot of ways has brought us very close together , and at times have not. He is my very best friend and while I know our relationship isnt perfect, I love him more and more all the time. We argue fairly when we disagree, and we always have fun together.
His new job is extremely demanding especially during the summer months. He gets stressed out from 10-14 hour days, and he can become quite tired, sleep deprived, and irritable. I try to give him his space when he feels like this. However, a few weeks ago I was starting to worry and get frustrated over the amount of time he was spending at work, answering work emails, or when we were spending time together - how tired he was. I started to feel as though I was the reason he seemed to unhappy , which made me extremely insecure and paranoid.
One evening he told me he didnt deserve me. And the next morning I asked him what was wrong and he kind of blew up saying he didnt know if we were working out and he wasnt sure if he could see a future with me at all anymore. I was crushed. Heartbroken.
2 hours later he was telling me not to worry and he loved me very much and later that evening he came over and apologized.
Its been about 3 weeks. I'm still extremely hurt by what he said. He's begged me to believe him that he didn't really think about what he was saying and he'd just been so tired and increasingly frustrated by my worrying and insecurity. I do understand that - but I don't understand how you can tell someone they aren't apart of your future - and then take it back.
I love him. I feel like so much of my future is possible with him. Do I forget about it and move on, or do I proceed with caution and guard my heart a little. He knows he messed up badly, he still feels so awful and just wants me to trust him that he is sincere. Out of all the things someone you've been with for 3 years can say - that "you're not apart of my future", is probably the most hurtful. It was a big Oops.