Please help! Schoolgirl crush advice...

[Yesleksenoj31]

Hi, I'm new to this site, this is my first post, and I have a huge dilemma. So I like this really cute guy, and he knows that I do. When he first found out half a year ago, every chance he got he would tease me, not in a mean way though. I really like him- in fact I would go so far as to say 'love'- and it's been almost a goddamn year since I figured out my feelings for him. He's really sweet and funny and cute and we have so much in common, but he has said on several occasions that he doesn't like me. Nobody believes him except me though. *Sigh*. He's more popular than me, I suppose, and that leaves me hanging a little. I want to ask him out so badly, but I just can't think straight around him and I'm too embarrassed to speak to him anyway, since my friends give me so much grief. Sometimes catch him staring at me and he always looks away really fast, but I'm not to sure what that means... Maybe he does like me? Whatever the reason I really don't want to get my hopes up just to be let down. Also, the whole asking him out situation is made even harder by my self-esteem issues. I'm a little on the pudgy side and my talents lie in academics and music, not sport like him, though I do enjoy archery and netball. I've never been a confident person- I'm more of an introvert around strangers, whereas my friends have the exact opposite opinion. So I'm asking- no, PLEADING- for your help. Is there anyway I can talk to him without making a complete and utter fool of myself? I get embarrassed much more easily than normal in front of him- he drives me fricking crazy sometimes because he's so gorgeous. So if you could help me with my major problem that would be greatly appreciated. Thanks! (Also, anyone's opinion is welcome, especially guys and people who have been in similar situations to me.)

[pacachomp]

Tricky one, a lot depends on the way that he said he didn't like you. If he did it seriously, most likely in a private conversation with you, then he was telling the truth and probably still isn't interested in you. But if his friends were teasing him about you and he and he was just protesting that he didn't like you in that way, there's a pretty good chance that he actually is interested. Can you tell us which one of these it was?

The second thing I want to say is about shyness, which I have a lot of experience with. There's no quick cure, you just have to keep getting up the courage and increase your comfort level. However, there are some things you can try before you talk to him to get you to relax. The one that always works for me is to do some serious exercise then go and have a shower - the endorphin release from the exercise makes you feel very comfortable later. Unfortunately, if you're talking to him at school then this obviously isn't possible - I'd at least talk to him on a day when you've already been chatting to other people a lot and just generally feel good.

[Yesleksenoj31]

Well, in answering your question, what happened was that one of my friends ask him if he liked me back in front of several people that were just milling around in the same area. Since she said it pretty loudly (she's a bit obnoxious) everybody immediately focused on us. It got really awkward really quickly, and he said, "No," but he said it very quickly- at least, that's what my friends say. Also today in my English class, his identical twin brother- yes, they are IDENTICAL, just my luck, right? Thankfully I can tell them apart unlike most people I know- said to me, "Hey, Kelsey... You're such a cutie pie." The whole class, me included, was like, "Woah! Okay then. That's awkward." Thankfully he said it in a really joking way. One of my friends said to me later that my crush liked me back, but I didn't really believe her.

Another major thing I forgot to mention before was that I'm not the only girl with a crush on him, and they are both very pretty and normal- I, on the other hand, can be rather crazy and sarcastic. Scratch that, I'm always crazy and sarcastic, so I'm not usually the girl guys go for, whereas the other two are- one is pretty and smart, and my crush had a crush on her last year, but she didn't want to date him because she was so focused on her schoolwork. The other girl is very pretty but of, uh, average intelligence. She sort of stalks my crush so he doesn't like her at all, but I still feel incredibly insecure around them.


Lastly, apparently I'm not the only shy one, which is part of the reason I'm so confused. My crush went on a date once, and he could barely look at the girl without blushing- I don't know who asked who out, but it was the most awkward dating story I have ever heard. Maybe, maybe there is a slight chance he likes me, but I have never been brave enough to ask him myself in private- my friends asked in public places, both times without my consent (stubborn little freaks... And I mean that in the friendliest, most loving way possible )

So, if I have given you more info so you can help me work out this mess, please tell me what you think. If not, just ask for more. Thanks so much for your help!

~Kelsey

[pacachomp]

Okay, good, from what you've said there's a pretty good chance that he does like you. So go ahead and ask him out! (since he's shy too, this is an even better idea) Just make sure you smile properly when you ask him, don't worry about what you actually say.

Good luck, please tell us how it goes

[uhmyeah]

Wow, you sound a lot like me a few years ago. *laugh* I had this major crush on a guy (and I still have some feelings left for him, but not much.) I would've gone as far as you, saying I loved him, and he knew I liked him. But we did not talk about it. The subject was avoided actually.
However, you seem to have way better luck than myself. I just hope you're not misinterpreting things. If he steals glances from you, but turns away quickly, it may really be because he likes you. But I'm not sure that if you ask him out he'll accept. Still, you SHOULD try. Even if he says no, you don't have to get your hopes down.
( You can even test him by trying to be a little more distant with him, so it'll seem like you gave up. Preoccupy yourself with other things, to see if he's somehow jealous that you don't pay his as much attention as before. But that is only good if you have enough time at hand to do this, and also to analyze his reactions extremely well. )
Other than this, I don't know what I could say to help your problem. I pretty much passed your phase, and I resumed to just trying to be his friend. But wouldn't recommend this to you, as I know that the feeling goes away terribly slow.
I wish you luck, and hope it ends happily ^_^

[Alejandro21]

Try to tell him

[smackie9]

Sorry but you have no chance even if he did like you. There is no way he will date you because he doesn't want to deal with the ridiculing from friends and classmates. If it didn't matter he would have asked you out by now. Maybe down the road when you both are finished school and away from that school environment, you two can go out on a date.

I remember having two huge crushes in high school....none of them panned out but I got over it. I landed myself a real hot guy when I was 15, the key thing was he didn't go to my school. I had way better luck going to other towns near by and meeting guys there. A new guy was just a bus ride away.