She wants us to get a house together as an investment. We both agree that we hate wasting money renting and would rather have something to show for our money. We do not currently live together.
Now, we have known each other for a year and a half. She has a 4 year old boy. She's 27 and I'm 25. We dated a couple months after meeting, and then broke up a couple months after beginning to date. After we broke up, we forged ahead as friends but for me I found out that I love her. She maintains that she wants to remain friends, but I have also let her know what has happened to me. I tried to stop loving her but it just wouldn't happen, so it appears for me that this is one of those girls that I will always love even if we never end up together.
So here we are today. She has a boyfriend she met online that she told me she really likes. I think thats great because I want her to be happy. I havent met or talked to him, but he seems like a really cool guy as well.
..And she wants me to buy a house with her. I would absolutely love to get a house with her and her son.. probably because of my underlying love for them. But her current boyfriend is the jealous type who would no doubt have issues with something like this happening. I am telling her I do not feel comfortable with these circumstances because I would feel like a jerk for doing something like that to her boyfriend, making him go through that turmoil of knowing his girlfriend is living with another man... and her response? "He'll get over it". I told her I don't like that attitude towards her relationship, and I'm not interested in stepping on any toes or hurting her relationship.
I know she has abandonment issues and therefore trust issues which was part of the reason we broke up. She didn't really take our relationship last year seriously.. and she explained to me she has turned a corner with relationships but this attitude she has towards her current one is not proving that to me.
For me, besides wanting to live with them, I am ready for a change anyway. I'm ready to live somewhere else, a little quieter and calmer. I love her son and want to be there for him whenever he needs a male influence. She is a pretty fun person too and I wouldn't mind being around her more often. But I'm trying not to be selfish here. This could be a great situation for me, but as a result her relationship will take a hurting and her boyfriend will be none too happy. Seeing as how they seem to really like each other, I do not want to jeopardize that for them!! She needs to know relationships need give and take from both sides and she is take take take... her way or the highway... wanting to have her cake and eat it.
I guess I'd really need to talk to her boyfriend anyways and just have that conversation and go from there, if I were really going to do it. But I don't know. Hopefully I explained this well for you folks and there is some knowledge out there that I can draw from. Thanks for reading.