Should I let bad past expieriences with alcohol effect my current "deal breakers"?

[smackie9]

There is only going to be more confusion when we say "Yes he is probably hiding it" or "It's a red flag" blah blah blah. Too many jump to conclusions. If she is adult enough she will discuss this at lenghth with him instead of asking strangers to solve this for her. My mom is a recovering alcoholic (13 years sobriety) and her BF drinks....they manage just fine. She doesn't allow alcohol in the house, and he doesn't drink around her. My mom made clear communication about drinking when they first starting dating...pretty damn simple.

[4 ratties]

I would find a man who doesn't drink ever. You can find them.. My bf doesn't drink at all.. It's not fair to make a guy feel uncomfortable and have to ask if he can drink a beer

[TablesandChairs]

If he can drink all day and not show signs of any intoxication whatsoever, then it's obvious he has high tolerance for alcohol; maybe because he drinks so often. I'm not sure what to tell you; if this guy drinks a lot - then you can't change that. The only thing you can change is whether you continue pursuing a relationship or not.

There's nothing 'wrong' with you just because you prefer people who don't drink regularly; I don't have any experience with alcoholic partners yet I still don't like the idea of a partner drinking every day. Much like for some people, a smoker would be a deal breaker. Get to know him a bit better - if he shows signs of being the type of guy who never has a beer bottle too far from reach, then I guess you need to consider whether you can live with that or not. There's a difference between a social drinker and someone who drinks every day; the latter is called dependence.