BF/GF in a Swimming pool with opp gender alone at night?

[bbq10]

Would you allow your BF or your GF to go swimming ALONE at night with another girl / guy for a swim & chit chat?

Isn't being too sensitive when you are against your other party on doing so?


Opinion needed.



Thanks

[UnderTheMoon]

I wouldn't like it, and if I could stop it I would.

I wouldn't do that to my S/O, because that much skin showing, and being alone, would mean I would probably want something.

So no, not being overly sensitive at all. Overly sensitive is freaking out and having a full on fit without being mature about it because your so overcome with jealousy you can't stand it. There is always a healthy more positive way to deal with someone that is uncomfortable. If your partner can't respect your wishes, then maybe they shouldn't be your partner.

I can also tell you, that from other threads, this alone time and hanging nonsense, lead to a EA, and when left alone lead onto a full on cheat. So up to you.

[michelle23]

No this is the same thing as your bf meeting a girl alone for dinner or meeting her alone for drinks except this time most their clothes are off... Any one on one time with opposite sex friends is not acceptable.

If this is happening in your relationship than you should break up with him. I would have dumped him ages ago

[searock]

Would you allow your BF or your GF to go swimming ALONE at night with another girl / guy for a swim & chit chat?

No I would not be ok with that. I would probably break up with him (or at least seriously reconsider our relationship) just for having thought it was ok.

Are you two in a long-distance relationship?

Who is the other girl?

[namemyname]

Wouldn't bother me.

I have a pool, so if I have an opposite sex friend over, we likely would jump in at some time. Doesn't mean anything is going on.

[Wakeup]

"would you allow " him? Seriously, my husband is his own person. I am not his mother or his authority figure so the word "allow" is rather controlling and arbitrary to me.

Would I like it? No, but it is up to him what he does. He knows our relationship boundaries and he knows that that would cross one of the mutually agreed to situation that we would not put ourselves in. So, if he used his free will and went or didn't dismiss himself from the situation, then that would be good for a rehash of what we have agreed to for our personal selves... I wouldn't think that he would orchestrate such a meeting, he may just happen to be a victim of circumstance though.

Others mileage may vary.

[michelle23]

the bottom line here OP is if your bf thinks this behavoour is acceptable whilst you do not then you are not compatable and need to break up. everyone has boundaries. if this is one of yours then respect yourself and tell him to jog on

[sadbunnyface]

I've gone swimming with my female and male friends without my BF and he has too. Nothing sexy was going on. Usually in the hot summer and is to cool off and socialize with friends. If you don't trust your GF for specific reasons I could see you might think oh ho, not good but otherwise if she has no past history of that then no worries.

[4 ratties]

I would not like it at all and my boyfriend knows I wouldn't so he wouldn't do it

[JadenMia]

I definitely wouldn't be okay with my boyfriend going for a one on one swim and chat with another woman.. But like someone mentioned you cant really stop him from doing so, he is his own person and you cannot control him or his actions.
Just explain that you don't feel comfortable and sit back and watch what he decides to do. Obviously if he cares he wouldn't

[kimhotcake]

I think it's totally fine. I have a guy friend who I text sometimes. We go for coffee when he's in town. He's married and I like his wife too. I never touch him though. To me touching is over the line.

[anonymous_a]

I don't think it's a big deal as long as you know what othis pperson is (like they've been friends for a while, and you've met them). I disagree with the people who say you can't have a friendship with the opposite see. A couple years ago when I was with my ex, I had a male friend and we would go swimming, watch movies, and hang out alone and it was completely platonic. I had no interest in him at all, and we both were in relationships. We actually were able to be quite good support systems to each other when things got tough.

The bottom line is that if you are uncomfortable, then you need to express that. And if they care, they will understand. But personally I don't see a problem.

[Bomba]

Would you allow your BF or your GF to go swimming ALONE at night with another girl / guy for a swim & chit chat?

I think the key here is "at night"...what, precisely, is needing to be cooled off "at night"?

[VincenzoG91]

Where is the swimming pool? At the local no-tell motel?

[horndog]

My wife's best friend is a divorcee who ended up with a nice home with a pool. I help her out with a lot of the heavy yard work and when I am done will often take a dip in the pool. Many times she will be out sunning and will even jump in and we will float around and chat it up about whatever strikes us. She is very attractive and looks mighty fine in her swimsuit but there has never been any inappropriate behavior between us because we both have a strong respect for my wife, her best friend.