is she confused?

[VerticalMoon]

Sorry, but I really don't think she's confused. Break-ups can be really difficult for the dumper as well. That's why she's calling you when she's drunk. But note that's the only time she calls- when she's drunk. That's when she's the most weak and thinking the least clearly. If she really believed in giving the relationship another chance, she would talk about it when she was sober.

I worry that you are holding back from moving on by holding on to hope that she'll come back. It's tempting to look for any signs that the person will come back, so you don't have to completely let go. Yet letting go is what you need to do to heal and move on. It doesn't happen overnight. It takes time. But you need to adjust yourself to the idea that it's over before you can really put everything behind you.

Don't beat yourself up for still missing her. Five and a half weeks really isn't that long for a five year relationship. Just take it day by day. You'll make it through this.

[thompkevin]

She as in a relationship with you for a long time. Of course, she has feelings for you and it's making her confused. You have to understand that this does not necessarily mean she wants to get back together right now or in the future. This might just give you false hope which in turn will stop you from moving on. The best thing for you to do would be to tell her that she can only contact you if she is absolutely positively 100% sure that she wants to get back together. Otherwise, you can't be her friend. It's hard for you and her as well.

[jerryh]

thanks everyone been two weeks no contact, and im feeling much better, if she comes back she does, if she doesnt there is a life to be lived and i wont waste it.

[jerryh]

8 weeks after the breakup and three full weeks of NC, and we ran into each other, just how i predicted in a nightclub. I said hi with a big smile and she was very shy and seemed nervous. that was that, we were dancing all night but not together but we kept touching of each other and it seemed everywhere one was, the other was there too. i went home and an hour later she texts saying sorry for being awkward and how am i? this the girl who wanted NC with me. i feel terrible now and back to the very start, my feelings are all hitting the fore front again.

[Wakeup]

I hope you didn't respond.

[jerryh]

i told her its ok

[Wakeup]

That's it? No back and forth texting marathon after that?

Anyway, it's common to feel what you're feeling now that's why NC is so important. You'll get over this much quicker though.. don't worry.

[michelle23]

8 weeks after the breakup and three full weeks of NC, and we ran into each other, just how i predicted in a nightclub. I said hi with a big smile and she was very shy and seemed nervous. that was that, we were dancing all night but not together but we kept touching of each other and it seemed everywhere one was, the other was there too. i went home and an hour later she texts saying sorry for being awkward and how am i? this the girl who wanted NC with me. i feel terrible now and back to the very start, my feelings are all hitting the fore front again.

Just keep doing what your doing. NO CONTACT. You will get over her. It just takes time. Baby steps

[jerryh]

thank you to both of yee, and i know yee are right about no contact it really has worked wonders but i dont understand she wanted no contact but once every 2 weeks or so will find a way to text me or ring

[michelle23]

Because she is attention seeking or bored or lonely or drunk.. She still cares about you but she is not in love with you so keep moving on and ignore those texts.

Sometimes its because she may wonder why your not still begging and kissing her toes and worshiping her. Sometimes people only dump you coz they want a crazy reaction to PROVE your love which is insane. You should never have to beg to keep anyone in your life or prove anything to her.

[Wakeup]

thank you to both of yee, and i know yee are right about no contact it really has worked wonders but i dont understand she wanted no contact but once every 2 weeks or so will find a way to text me or ring

She's just trying to see if she can still pull you in. Don't read anything into her texts unless they say something like "I made a mistake and I'd like to try with you again." Anything less and it's just fluff, jerry.

No sense even talking about it anymore. You'll be through this little bout of longing by tomorrow if you just let it go now.

[jerryh]

thank you for your perspective and i suppose your right, just hurts that she used to love me now may just use me for an ego stroke once in a while. she knows i love her anyways begged and pleaded for a month ill admit which was pathetic.

[Wakeup]

Ya, you've said all that before. Any reason why you want to keep hanging onto that?

[jerryh]

none your right i had let go of everything now just having a bad day, be ok again tomorrow

[michelle23]

Stay strong. You will be okay. Go out and have fun, join a dating site, have a few casual dates. A little attention and flirting will help you heal.