MEN, this girl needs some advice.

[cmh89]

So ive been in a relationship with a man who treats me like a princess. It seems like he always gives me my way, but he wants his way when it comes to my looks. He tells me how he wants me hair, nails, clothes, and even weight. I was quite skinny when we met. I have gained a little weight and quit wearing makeup upon request from him. I told him i wanted to lose the weight i gained because i just feel bad, like sluggish. I also told him i wanted to wear makeup sometimes. He said if i lost weight or wore makeup, i wouldnt sexually excite him anymore and that he will never be ok with that. Ok Guys, is that normal? I mean i thought if you truly LOVE someone, you would want to have intimacy with them. He said he doesnt want a makeup girl or skinny bit*h. BUT thats how i was when he met me! UGH!

Any advice as to what i should do will be so greatly appreciated!

[pcmaster]

Just do what you want. Maybe he would never notice you if you where like you are now.

Some girls looks like crap without makeup. Some does look even more beautiful with their nature beauty. Natural beauty is better. You could be one of these better girls.

Anyway you dont have to lose weight as well as its not nessesary to be fat. You could work out and tone your body be firm and full.

If he realy loves you he will love your heart regartless of outher shell. So be how you wana to be.

[smackie9]

From a woman's perspective I wouldn't date someone who uses an excuse like that to intiminate me into controlling me how I look. In fact I would tell him that he has a problem. Yes you are absolutly right, if he does truly love you he would accept you for who you are and what you decide to wear etc....it's your personality to want to look a certain way, so he doesn't accept you for who you are, so that should be telling you something about how he feels.

[4 ratties]

You need to look and feel exactly how u want.. If he can't deal with that then it's time to break up. I would hate to be treated like that, he should want you to feel good about yourself

[dickriculous]

He doesn't love you, he loves an illusion that he's trying to transform you into matching as closely as possible. The real you does nothing for him.

This relationship is no good for either of you. You need the freedom to express yourself and he needs someone that he can actually love without having to immerse himself within his own delusions in order to do so.

[Wakeup]

How you discribe him is one of the first signs that the man you are with is abusive. Does he try to control who your friends are or even try to isolate you from them by pointing out why you shouldn't like them or want to hang with them? Does he complain when you want you and him to visit your family?

Can you explain how he "treats you like a princess."

[cmh89]

Treats me as a princess as in: treating me to dinner, always expressing im the one for him, going out of his way to do sweet things, etc. I realize those things are just things he does to keep me around. Yes, I cannot go out with friends, wear makeup, drink coffee, talk to my parents on the phone, etc. He even said we shouldnt be together if I lose weight. I feel very controlled. I am getting out soon. I know he cant truly LOVE me.

[VincenzoG91]

You're not his girlfriend, you're his prized possession, and only as long as you follow his rules.

[michelle23]

You need to get out now, not soon. Never change who you are for any man. The right man wont try to change you. This guy is abusive and controlling, hes trying to make you feel insecure so you will think your not good enough for anyone else. Its his way of making you his. Next he will want you to move away and isolate yourself from everyone you know, then he will start beating you, then he will make sure you get knocked uand then he will start cheating on you

Run as fast as you can and dont look back

[Wakeup]

Treats me as a princess as in: treating me to dinner, always expressing im the one for him, going out of his way to do sweet things, etc. I realize those things are just things he does to keep me around. Yes, I cannot go out with friends, wear makeup, drink coffee, talk to my parents on the phone, etc. He even said we shouldnt be together if I lose weight. I feel very controlled. I am getting out soon. I know he cant truly LOVE me.

Well, I guess if he doesn't let you go out with friends, doesn't let you wear makeup, drink coffee or let you talk to your parents then you weren't really telling the truth when you said this:

So ive been in a relationship with a man who treats me like a princess. It seems like he always gives me my way,
!

You know you need to get out so why aren't you getting out right now instead of "soon", cmh? Tell us what keeps you there for now?

[ashly88]

So I have noticed when I ask questions to advice forums...that before I even ask the question I truly already know the answer...It's nice to validate that your gut feeling is right though. You are a smart girl, and you already know your answer...

[Katrina4114]

He doesn't allow you to wear a make up? Just wow. looks like he wants a total control over you. Bet in few years it will be even worse. Better broke up now

[TAEHSAEN]

Wow. Am I the only one who thinks that it would be shallow of her to simply leave him?


Did you actually consider giving this a chance?

Maybe he wants you to understand that he LOVES YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE AND NOT WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE.

Did you think about that? WHICH GUY doesn't want his girl to look good? He's doing this for you, not for himself.

ALSO. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING: Did you TELL him that you feel controlled? That he needs to give you some space to do your own thing otherwise you will be unhappy in this relationship?


You said he treats you like a princess right? So trust me, if you leave him without giving him a chance, chances are that you won't find another guy like him.


If you leave this relationship without giving him a chance to fix it, then it would be a VERY shallow thing to do.

From my perspective, the guy is just trying to make you feel beautiful inside. However he is ABSOLUTELY WRONG in trying to control you.

But maybe he doesn't realize his mistake. SO JUST TALK TO HIM before making rash decisions.