Help Needed Broken Heart

[Faith223]

Ok my bf of about a year and I have been going thru things. First off he really tried to break up with me ON our 1 year anniversary OVER THE PHONE I could not help but cry and plead for him (which I know was all based on instant emotions). We decided to see each other that day and when he saw me he decided he wanted to continue the relationship. However that night he was acting so distant with me we had our intimate time and the next day he was just so distant. Now I must say that hurt very very bad he was just looking thru his phone the whole time and he would have no idea I was on the other side of the bed crying my eyes out for this man. We took a shower together and he paid me no attention at all. I got dressed and I had a pain in my chest that ran so deep. I mean geezzz why would he do this to me and say he wanted to stay together. A few days after that I notice that he is STILL acting distant and is ignoring me a lot he didn’t respond to texts or calls of me just telling him that I am thinking about him and that I love him. I don’t know a bf.gf who would not respond to something like that. He would take things out on me when something was going on with his family as if I did it to him. He would always get off the phone and not say I love you as he did before. I felt as if I was being played with and strung along for a emotional rollercoaster which is not cool for someone to do. So a few days of not speaking with him went by and I asked him if he neede space and he said “no we are fine”. After that he kept ignoring my texts and calls..so I gave up again and left him alone. About a week or so later he called and said that he thought we needed to “take a break” I was saying that’s all I needed to hear (he didn’t have to ignore me purposely if that what he wanted). My question is what can I do to make this right?..I don’t want to be here being strung along again for this to potently happened again. This man gonna go from breaking it off with me on the day of our anniversary to deciding we can stay together…then a few weeks later say we need a break..this hurts. help please..just advice....I mean if the guy does not want to be with me he needs to me MAN enough to say it, playing with someone feelings is not cool at all.

[michelle23]

Hun you need to let him go. He doesn't want to be with you anymore. he has made that obvious but you made him feel guilty by crying and begging and pleading with him and he doesn't know how to handle it. He doesn't want to hurt you. He just doesn't want to be a complete prick and tell you to f**k off so now he is just hoping you will take a hint. Don't be surprised if he has a new gf next week and doesn't tell you.

I know its a normal reaction for most people to go into denial and say please don't do this etc and hope that he will change his mind but do really want to be with someone when he doesn't want you? Let him go. Text him and tell him that you know he doesn't want you anymore and its okay, wish him luck and all the best in the future. If he texts you back, ignore him. Even if he says he wants you back, ignore him.

Cut all contact, focus on healing and move on. You will be over him within six months and you will be okay. We have all been there, I know its hard but there is nothing else you can do

Good luck

[Valixy]

I think that you should see it like this: you were about to break up and you couldn't let go - nothing wrong with that, it happens. You tried again but it doesn't seem to work. He probably checked out of the relationship some time ago and he doesn't seem to be able to connect with you again and, well, spending time with him without being treated right and feeling loved as you deserve, it's not worth it at all, as you've already realised.

I don't like the way he dealt with the break up and I think that you should arm yourself with some good indifference and let him go... It always hurts when losing a relationship but it hurts much more if you lose your dignity. You'll get over it and you will be pleased then that you left at the right time before you could have been even more hurt.

[Faith223]

You are right. And btw I deleted the other posts. I didn't know you could get banned. I was just looking for help. Thanks for telling me. Yea I guess I have just been in denial about him not wanting to be with me. I just wish he did it another way, like tell me and not play with my emotions like that. Thanks so much for your post

[Valixy]

I don't know what other posts you're referring to, Faith... Anyway, I'm glad if Michele's reply and mine could help you...

Be strong, we all lose people and relationships sometimes and we learn to deal with this in the best posible way...

[michelle23]

Dont worry about it faith. Lots of people double or tripple post, sometimes by accident, sometimes coz they want answers asap but it annoys other members and they may report you to admin.

Did you send him the text yet?

[madelinel]

He is a jerk.. just make a decision and end things with him first.. if he is not saying it back when you say i love you.. that just means one thing..he is not that into you.. don't be blinded by your feelings..and breaking up with a gal on important dates like bday or anniversay is NOT cool at all.. that is the most terrible thing a guy can do to a gal whom he has been seeing for some time.. there are so many better guys out there who know how to appreciate you and love you..don't waste your time on this one guy.