Help me, please!

[Crissyhee]

Please help! I'm literally shaking in and out and not feeling good at all now. My ex bf and I have been cintacting each other and itbhas been fine. Not until lately I saw his fb and a pretty girl kept posting links on his fb wall. I think the girl likes him, or they like each other. I felt very hurt. I mean, we are good friends now. But seeing him interacting with a pretty girl like that really hurt me, the fact that we were a couple. I did asked him what did he think about us and he said I am a good friend and a caring one. He didn't really gave me a definite answer when I asked him either to stop contacting or just get together again. That kinda made me feel better not until she posted some more links again. I couldn't stop myself from being jealous. I really want the best for us, definitely for me so I can move on. But how do I tell him that when he just keeps on avoiding my question? Help! I think I'm crying very badly inside. :'(

[namemyname]

But he did answer your question. You just didn't like it.

You're not good friends ONLY if this is how you react to him moving on and finding someone new.

Go total NC, tell him why, and then delete him on FB, etc.

Otherwise, you'll obsess and FB stalk him daily, and make yourself nuts.

[Crissyhee]

But he did answer your question. You just didn't like it.

You're not good friends ONLY if this is how you react to him moving on and finding someone new.

Go total NC, tell him why, and then delete him on FB, etc.

Otherwise, you'll obsess and FB stalk him daily, and make yourself nuts.

How do I tell him that? I told him I was honestly uncomfortable with it. He just apologized and said nothing more. Maybe it's easy for him because he never sees me with another new guy yet.

[smackie9]

Crissy It's obvious you are not ready for friendship....IMO you should never really be friends with an ex if you still have feelings for them. I'm guessing he was the one that did the dumping? So you with another guy isn't going to bother him like you think. Make the big step to letting go....delete him off your FB and go no contact or you will be stalking him and tormenting yourself as he moves on.

[smackie9]

When you delete him off your FB that will be enough explanation for him.....he's not going to question it.

[namemyname]

How do I tell him that? I told him I was honestly uncomfortable with it. He just apologized and said nothing more. Maybe it's easy for him because he never sees me with another new guy yet.

Well, you can't expect him to not move on.

I would send him an email, tell him that seeing him move on is too painful right now because you're still healing from the breakup. Ask him to grant you total NC, and say that you hope in time you can be friends again, then wish him well.

Honestly, it's always taken me years to be friends with an ex. If there was kind of real passion, it's impossible to downgrade to being a pal.

Do the NC, then block him.

[Crissyhee]

I think it's for the best too. I feel like at times I have been the one who's keeping him down, and keeping myself down. It's time for me to lose him for the best.

[michelle23]

Chrissy you dont need to explain anything to him or wait for his answer. You
need to TELL him that you and he cant be friends. End of story. Goodbye and then delete and block him on DB and from your phone. You will get over him. It just takes time

[smackie9]

Good for you Crissy I wish you well.

[4 ratties]

You'll never truly get over him until you stop taking to him

[Crissyhee]

I just told him and guessed what. He did have an interest in the girl. By any means, I don't hate her. She's pretty and nice and talented and most importantly she doesn't even know me or my story with him. I don't want to ruin their relationship. When I told him that, he just kept agreeing but somehow I was the one feeling pain. I want to stop talking to him, I know it's the best thing. But it just hurt me when I see how easy he could move on WHILE he's still contacting me. Honestly, he's the first guy I ever gave my whole heart to. That's why it has been so hard on me.

[Crissyhee]

Chrissy you dont need to explain anything to him or wait for his answer. You
need to TELL him that you and he cant be friends. End of story. Goodbye and then delete and block him on DB and from your phone. You will get over him. It just takes time

It's hard to tell him that, because I want to be friends with him. I just donno how to tell him that I don't want to contact him for some time so I can take time to feel better. Is that gonna cause me more harm? Because I will feel more lonely if I feel and know that if we're not friends, I'm losing someone in my life.

[smackie9]

Crissy the thing is, is that you will not need him in your life anymore...that is the whole point of moving on. You can live without him.

[Crissyhee]

It's a tough point where I need to let him go now. I know that he's moving on now, and I should,too. You guys are right, too. I thought it'll be fine, but it's not. I've been hiding his fb from my timeline, but I keep wanting to look at his wall all the time and I did. It's stupid and I wanna stop lying to myself and saying everything's okay. Even now I'm confused, do I really miss him, or do I really miss the feeling of love that he made me feel? Because as I said earlier, he's my first love. It's tough to get over first love.
I think I really should unfriend him at this point. I know that I can live without him, it's just that thinking of removing him hurts me. I just need a shoulder to cry on right now.