I don't know why, but I have the following thing that happens many times. If I am very attracted to someone, I become shy and I tend to do everything wrong. If I am in love, it's even worse. But if I am not so attracted or so interested, then, it usually goes well. So what tends to happen is that either a) I have a crush on someone impossible and I do everything wrong and she ends up hating me, or b) that someone falls in love with me but that I do not love (although I may like).
In fact this happened recently. A few months ago there was this girl, and she seemed interested at first, and I was not shy and I invited her out and she even said yes. But then I fell in love too soon, and so I started to become shy and clumsy, and so she ended up losing interest and eventually didn't even want to talk to me anymore. What did I do wrong? I think I was too impatient. Or too much in love too soon, before we even did anything, and that scared her away.
Then not much time later, I met another girl, we went out and everything went right, and she wants a relationship, problem is, I was and am not in love with her, but now she is in love with me. So it seems it I have to choose either to love or to be loved, but not both at the same time. What is better? I think that to be loved, because loving someone who does not reciprocate at all and don't even want to be friends is a bit sad, sometimes.
(In fact this whole story upset me so much that I am trying to make a documentary about love, to find out what it is, if anyone is interested t know more, send me a message.) Thanks.