Who should have made the move, me or her?

[actualgoodguy]

Met this girl on a dating site. Asked her out and were supposed to meet last Friday, but she got out of work late so suggested we just do something quick that night. I declined and said I didn't want to rush her and we can get together some other time. She agreed. Were gonna meet yesterday but she said Monday she would be busy. She told me Monday night we should meet today and I agreed (she said we'd get lunch, but not where or what time today).

I haven't heard back from her since Monday though. Why didn't she get back to me or was I supposed to ask her where or what time we were meeting? Since she suggested we should get together today for lunch, shouldn't she have told me where and what time of day?

[lalalita]

She's blowing you off, and she has been. If a woman is excited and interested in a man, she will make time in her schedule to go out on a proper date, and not "do something quick" after work.

Forget her.

[anonymous_a]

What she said ^

[actualgoodguy]

Lol, actually I wanted to reverse roles to see what it was like just once. I did initiate contact with her online, but I let her pursue me after that. She set up the lunch for today but I wanted to see if she had the strength to pursue me when I didn't show any more interest. I would have contacted her to set up the time but I resisted. Actually I found her on fb and after seeing her profile I am no longer interested lol. You don't know how many girls I've eliminated just from fb, it's pretty bad. I did just text her though to see if she still wants to get together and she does.

So girls how come you want the guy to always do the pursuing. Is it because:

a. It's traditional for the guy to pursue the girl. OR
b. You're scared to get rejected.

Just curious as it's interesting that she didn't have the courage to contact me to complete the set up of the date, even though she still has interest after I contacted her now

[actualgoodguy]

Oh and it's not like she's thinking I'm going to get a free meal, cause I'll we're doing now is a bike ride

[lalalita]

You're entirely missing the point of what is going on here. I'm actually a little shocked by your response. It seems delusional. She didn't set up the date because she "didn't have the courage", she didn't set up the date because she is blaringly uninterested. I doubt you would have heard from her if you hadn't reached out. She said you two were going to meet for lunch today, but she never got in contact with you. She blew you off. I don't doubt her canceling the plans you made to go biking.

To answer your other question, I like my men to be men and to do the courting. I would not be interested in someone who played games and made me "chase" them.

[actualgoodguy]

To answer your other question, I like my men to be men and to do the courting. I would not be interested in someone who played games and made me "chase" them.

I just tend to lose interest if the girl makes me do all the pursuing. How do I know you're interested if I'm the only one pursuing. It should be 50/50. That way there's no question. If a girl is interested in a guy but feels like she has to be pursued and can't show any interest, isn't that game playing?

[Starnique]

You're entirely missing the point of what is going on here. I'm actually a little shocked by your response. It seems delusional. She didn't set up the date because she "didn't have the courage", she didn't set up the date because she is blaringly uninterested. I doubt you would have heard from her if you hadn't reached out. She said you two were going to meet for lunch today, but she never got in contact with you. She blew you off. I don't doubt her canceling the plans you made to go biking.

To answer your other question, I like my men to be men and to do the courting. I would not be interested in someone who played games and made me "chase" them.

This.

Yes, she blew you off and she probably was thinking that if you really wanted to go out with her, you would have hit her up. Seems to me she had no time to be chasing you and good for her. As lalalita said, I like to be courted as well and men who are men. If a man takes time to pursue a girl he treats her better because he put in work for it most of the time and he really liked her and wanted her as oppose to a man who let the chic chase him and he just went along for the ride until the girl he really wants comes along and he willingly pursues her, therefore giving her better treatment. Personally, the more effort a guy puts into me lets me know how much he likes me.

You come off as very problematic to me.

[VincenzoG91]

A woman should never chase after a man or a bus. The next one will be along soon enough.

[VincenzoG91]

OP, I don't think that you have the right attitude for dating right now. It would probably be better if you focused on other aspects of your life instead of playing weird passive-aggressive games with random women.

[michelle23]

I hope this was a dating advice for virgins? If not, you are still wasting peoples time

[actualgoodguy]

Just a sociological experiment. I wasn't planning on it but it fell right into place. I wanted to see if she had the balls to ask me out after she had shown me interest.

[michelle23]

Dude you need help. Y the f should she have to chase you? Your the guy. Man up!

[actualgoodguy]

It would have shown she was willing to take a risk and it would have left her vulnerable for rejection. It just proves most women don't have the balls to do that and that's not an attractive quality. I initiate every other time I just wanted to try something different to prove a point.

[VincenzoG91]

It would have shown she was willing to take a risk and it would have left her vulnerable for rejection. It just proves most women don't have the balls to do that and that's not an attractive quality. I initiate every other time I just wanted to try something different to prove a point.

If you're looking for women with balls, you're going to be disappointed. This isn't about absolute equality. Men and women are still raised with different expectations. Most women find assertiveness to be an attractive quality in a guy, so your attempt to make her assume a more masculine role was completely misguided. Most women won't go for it, and they will find your lack of assertiveness to be a negative quality. Your point is pointless.