I dont get why im so weak emotionally.. why do i lie, over and over..

[hidemyid]

So this isn't my first post on this situation. Basically, to re iterate quickly..

I was alone for 2 years, mostly by choice (now I remember why lulz) and because I made a dumb decision to pack up and leave my hometown therefore leaving me in an antisocial situation. In short, I moved home. Met a girl... and I don't know whatsup, I must have been desperate because there were red flags FROM THE START. Her parents are unbearable at this point, I avoid her house at all costs. Instead of raising there daughter to be an independent strong individual, they created a HIGHLY dependent paranoid sheltered one. They worry about every thing, they check up on her like 10 times a day, they ask her what she ate, how she feels, when shell be home (like every single time) and it annoys her as much as me.

Lately, I just don't feel excited to see her, shes consumed my life and I don't know how to get away. She joined my gym, pretty much expects me to workout with her all the time because I didn't lay down any ground rules, and I did so at first. connected with some of my friends, shes pretty much added and followed every single person I know on social media. She's negative, and naggy if I so much as like a photo or status, she thinks im trying to give other people attention lulz. I feel restricted, and worried all the time. If I go out, she wont leave me alone. I don't wanna text you all day, or call you at 11-12 and leave the place im at which is noisey cause you want to sleep early, You should of came out.

Now heres the hard part. I don't know, why im so weak lately..
I literally feel like, im with her, because I don't think she can handle a breakup.
She has no real or true friends, just acquantances. She has it hard at home since her parents are f'ed in the head.
It seems like, I just lie and lie and lie. Like Oh yeah, I miss you to. Oh I love you so much. You don't ever wanna lose me? Awh me either. Like I feel to awkward to say anything CAUSE she is a nice girl. I wish I woulda never dated her, and been friends. Shes a great person. But eff me, I did.

I broke up with her once, for like... a month. but I run into her at the gym, instead of being mad awkward.. I just said hi, kept moving along. I ended up, missing her when I saw her, made a spontaneous decision and regretted it. We got back together and within 2-3 weeks I regretted it.

Same deal recently. I was drunk and told her how I really felt after she bugged me until 7 am (I flipped out honestly)
We had a "talk" I went into it thinking, I gotta end it im not happy. She does these jedi mind tricks, making me think I got this amazing girl who would never give up on me, and she'll give me space, and honestly im a when she cried cause I DO CARE ABOUT HER.

I feel like im just not ready, im in college, this stress in the back of my head is draining me, and distracting me from my prioritys.
I know I cant do it in person anymore. Ill prob get stuck in this pattern, where I push her away, and cause fights, to formulate a breakup because im to weak to just say hey, I don't feel the same anymore and not listen to her side of it. (her side is like, a sales pitch of why I shouldn't give up)

I literally feel f'ed, and I tempted to like, block and delete everyone whos a mutual friend, switch gyms (which honestly sucks I love my gym) maybe get a new identity, grow a beard. Change the 6 on my mailbox to a 9. Like god damn.

-Rant ended.

[michelle23]

I know how you feel. I was in your shoes once when i was like 17. I tried to break up with him numerous times-MAJOR guilt trip from him. Then tried to force myself to want him-didnt work-so tried to end it again-another guilt trip. Then tried being a b**ch so he would dump me-that made him want me even more.

In the end i dumped him in a packed nightclub, both drunk, huge fight, him crying.. It was awful.

Just break up with her now. Dont try any of the bollox i tried or it will end really badly. You just gotta do it. If you cant do it face-face coz of her guilt trips-send her a text

just say "its not working, im not happy, we need to break up. Im sorry. I wish you all the best in the future and i hope you meet someone great who treats you well. Sorry i had to do this over text-i just cant bear another drawn out conversation on trying to make it work. It wont work. Goodbye"

[lalalita]

I think you're giving yourself way too much credit here. The fact that *you* were the one who ended up missing her and getting back with her after your first breakup says she's not as weak as you're making her out to be. You're not the center of the universe. Break up and let her be with a man who wants to be in a relationship.

And, her parents just sound like they car about her and want to be a part of her life.

[hidemyid]

I think you're giving yourself way too much credit here. The fact that *you* were the one who ended up missing her and getting back with her after your first breakup says she's not as weak as you're making her out to be. You're not the center of the universe. Break up and let her be with a man who wants to be in a relationship.

And, her parents just sound like they car about her and want to be a part of her life.

Well im not to specific in that particular story in my post, what had actually happened was when I broke up with her, she was extremely persistant. She was texting and calling so much I considered having her number blocked. I blocked her social media, she made fake accounts to keep tabs on me. She admitted to me that she would wait till I posted a gym status and try to bump into me. She wasn't letting go. I feel like I caved, I knew she was with other guys in placed I frequented "apparently friends". really, I cracked under the pressure. I wanna see her happy, and id hope she would find someone else eventually, but not in front of my face you know.

as far as her parents, they are very negative people. Its not kind check ups, its very confrontational. like it makes her upset and causes unwanted tension. its not my opinion, its hers as well.

[smackie9]

Dude if this is the bs you have to put up with to get out of shitty relationship, then it's worth it. She will eventually give up especially when she sees you bangin other chicks.

Go try to sleep with one of her friends....that will seal the deal.

[michelle23]

Smackie he got back with her after dumping her so this IS his fault. I think trying to hurt her more than necessary would be wrong. The girl is obviously young, possibly her first bf or first love, she clung to him and begged during the initial denial stage (as many do) and then stalked him a little (as many do). If he stayed strong then and didnt cave in to her she would have already moved on by now..

OP just break up with her and tell her this time it is over for good and your sorry but there is nothing she can do or say. You are not coming back. And this time you have to MEAN it, no going back when you see her with someone else and you are jealous, or if you feel lonely or insecure or horny.. Stay away from her.

You both need to move on. And join another gym if thats what you have to do to avoid seeing her. In future, when you date a girl-dont invite her to work out with you. Ask one of the boys to go with you and keep that as male time.

Good luck

[TablesandChairs]

I've been in your shoes too. I was nagged once until 6 am that I finally relented and said 'fine, I don't want to break up' simply because I was dead tired and needed to get to sleep.

These people are leeches - they might not mean to be but that's what they are. They suck the life out of you and make you afraid. I can't quite explain it; it's manipulative and exhausting. Things get twisted so much that you can't remember what you original point was.

Sound similar? If so, get out. Don't worry about your reaction - just say your piece as kindly as you can and leave. Don't go back. If you miss them, remind yourself of what it was like during the times you felt most suffocated.

Because of being in the above type of relationship, I struggled with relationships afterwards...I kept feeling suffocated, even when I wasn't being suffocating. You don't want it to get to that stage.