How to deal with my gf's best friend?

[Yuvalolll93]

Well.. here is the story

I'm 19, my gf is 20. we both girls, truly in love with eachother. we're together for 1.5 year, and it has been the best time ive ever had in my life.

Two months ago, my girlfriend told me about her sexual past.
Ive had extremely bad time dealing with it, obsessing with photos in my mind with her and other guys.

It became really problematic, when she told me that one of the guys she's been with, is her best friend today. he really is attractive guy for all opinions.

since we became together, i didnt like their relationship, because i thought it were too close.
He used to hug her infront of me, and her parents likes him much more than they like me. (because of the fact that im a girl) they went to concerts together, and he slept at her house for 2 times when weve been together , at the beggining of our relationship ( shes telling me nothing happened there, they just got used to this because their relationship is really open . i believe her because i know she never lied to me, and if she had any feelings for him she would tell me ) and after she understood I really dont like it it didnt happened anymore. he also have a girlfriend for one year.

The other problem is, that at the beggining of our relationship, she told me that shes sure that he will be the first guy for her because hes the only guy she can trust. I cant remember how i reacted to this saying. but I know it cant leave me today.

One day Ive had really anxieties when they went out toghether and i couldnt hold it anymore. i told her how bad i feel about their relationship, about the fact that hes always hugs her (hes is a touchy guy with everyone but i dont care ) and about the saying she told me at the beggining of our realtionship.

She told me she is sad that im putting her in this situation- of choosing her best friend or me.
she started crying, telling me hes really important to her beacuse he really is just her best friend. and the saying she told me at the beggining is really unrelevant today. she doesnt thinks like that anymore.
i told her i really respect their relationship, but i cant hold it anymore. i dont want to feel like this anymore, and i asked her to talk with him about it.

the time passed, and she told me she spoke with him.
she told me she thinks im right. and he understands what im saying.
she told me they took one step back and laughed that from now on everytime they meet they have to shake their hands.

she keep saying that she would do anything for me , to stop feeling like that.
everytime im talking with her about it , that i will never be calm with their relationship
shes telling me that im the love of her life, and she doesnt care about him this way.
she wants only me and i dont have to worry. shes saying that their relationship was sexually only at the beggining, but then they understood they prefer eachother just as friends.

it makes me calm for this moments
but later when im not with her im obsessed again with these thoughts of her with him
with the feelings he will get her one they
with the extremly bad feeling that he would get her whenever he wants
It's so hard when her parents hates me because I made their girl lesbian
And they respect and love him . I feel like nothing when he's around.


i love my girl like ive never loved before
i dont want to end our relationship because of him
AND I KNOW FROM THE DEEPEST PART OF MY HEART THAT SHE LOVES ME AND DOESNT WANT ANYONE BESIDES ME

but i really dont know what to do with those terrible feelings. i dont know how to deal with their relationship after all. I'm starting feeling its too heavy for me and I can't handle the idea that maybe one day he'll be with my love.

How can I forget about it and enjoy my love with her ?
I would like to hear opinions and personal experiences
Thank you so much for helping

[michelle23]

I would walk away. There should be no jealousy, insecurity or trust issues in a healthy relationship. And her friendship with him is inappropriate. They should not be so close when they are both in a relationship. Going to concerts alone together, staying at each others house, her parents love him and want her to be with him etc-that is practically dating and it is disrespectful to you and your relationship.

You should be with a girl who is fully lesbian-not bi. It just over complicates everything and I fully believe that bisexual people are very unlikely to want to be monogamous.

[Yuvalolll93]

Do you think there is place to talk with her about it again? To make myself more clear

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Quit being such a bitch. Dump her or stop whining. No, there is no more room to talk about it.

[michelle23]

No you cant force her to cut him out of her life. She will resent you if you do and she already knows this upsets you but he continues to be an issue.

If her and him are so close then y is she not with him? She obviosly really enjoys his company and there was(and could still be) sexual tension between them.

I would walk but its your decision