If this is what I wanted, why does it hurt so much?

[Kromat83]

I agree that it is important to have some alone time, and working together probably isn't the best idea, but at this point, we don't really have a choice. A job's a job, and those are hard to come by around here. I agree we need to start doing things together, and we both do get extremely lazy. A big part of that is the weed. We smoke A LOT, and it often demotivates, and makes us just want to laze around. Living together wasn't done out of convenience. I'm not currently in school (I'm going back when he graduates, my school is out of town), I work full time and he works part time.

I am questioning my feelings for him.. I think.. I don't really know. I'm so confused. When we started dating I definitely saw us going long term, forever even. We've known each other for 11 years, and dated briefly back in 2007. We also remained FWB for a quite some time after that as well. Our plan, key word OUR, was for me to work and pay off all my prior student loans, while he finished school, then move so I could finish school while he pays off his student loans.

I'm not really seeing the advice here? lol sorry.

I didn't give you an advice ? i said to not get so lazy when being around each other and resorting to weed.

You two are going back and forth too much, questioning it every so often,
and it has been going on since 2007, so what do you really want then ?

I personally wouldn't want to be with someone, that constantly had doubts about us.

It's your life, and it doesn't seem like you want to listen to any of us, so do whatever you want.

[Frog Princess]

Love MJ. Totally loving the popcorn eating. AWESOME!!!

[Frog Princess]

Okay. From what you've stated, you really are better off spending some time apart. Try to figure out what it is that you truly want. Yes, even though you wanted this, it will still hurt. You have spent a lot of time with this person. You are familiar and comfortable with him. But can you see yourself with him in five years? Ten years? Do you have similar goals? From what you've said about the weed use, it sounds like you two might not be a good fit. Don't get so caught up in the loneliness that you settle for something that isn't good for you. You are only 23 and a lot of growing occurs in your mid to late 20's. Spend that time wisely because you cannot get it back.

[anonymous_a]

I never said I didn't want to listen to anyone but Michelle. I guess I haven't given enough details, to explain a few things. Will in the morning.

[anonymous_a]

I didn't give you an advice ? i said to not get so lazy when being around each other and resorting to weed.

You two are going back and forth too much, questioning it every so often,
and it has been going on since 2007, so what do you really want then ?

I personally wouldn't want to be with someone, that constantly had doubts about us.

It's your life, and it doesn't seem like you want to listen to any of us, so do whatever you want.

When we dated in 2007, it was extremely brief, like a couple weeks, then we remained FWB for about a year, which brings us to 2009. After that, I had a bf for 2 years, and then was single for a year and barely even spoke with him because I was half way across the province. I would hardly say that counts as going back and forth. And obviously I know we "should not be so lazy and resort to weed" that's nothing we don't already know, that hardly counts as advice lol.

I also don't "constantly have doubts about us" our past relationship has nothing to do with out current relationship, and this is the first time I've actually considered leaving him.

[anonymous_a]

Pretty much, I've always considered us soul mates, even when I had the urge to cheat on him. It was one urge, and it passed, and it only happened a year and a half into our relationship. After that I went back to feeling happy and planning our future. Now all of a sudden all these weird ass feelings that I've never had before start rushing in. We have tons in common, we get along great, we have the same values and same wants when it comes to having a family and getting married and building a life together.

My situation has updated. We talked about things, and I will be staying at my moms to do some thinking. I really want to go back to feeling the way I did before. I want us to go back to "us" but I can't just turn my feelings on and off. Part of me is thinking "If I really wanted to stay with him, and he was really the one, then I wouldn't be having these doubts" another part of me is saying "If I really DID want to LEAVE him, I would have just broke up with him, and not given myself time to think"

Anything worth having, is worth fighting for, right? So pretty much, I'm just stuck between, letting go, and trying to hold on and fight... It's tearing me up, because I loved him in a way that I have never loved anyone before and I've been in 2 other very serious relationships, both in which [at the time] I felt were life long, and in neither of those relationships, did I feel what I have felt for this current....