Am I an idioit for holding on to hope?

[ojejones]

Couldn't agree more. Swallow your pride and he will gain some respect for you. Communication is the key to 99% of problems and it is definitely the answer to this one.

[lostlars]

So from what I am gathering from everyone is that no contact is the wrong thing for me to be doing at this time? Everything I read was telling me to not contact him so he would begin to miss all the great times we shared and eventually would come around. Maybe that is not the case in this scenario? I don't know what I want anymore. I feel you are right and if he really wanted to be with me he would have stopped me from leaving or reached out to work it out since. The last thing I want is to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me. I guess I am just confused because he flat out told me he was wanting me to beg for him back basically to prove to him I care. I told him how much I loved him and that I wanted to date etc once I was moved out just not while I was at the house because I was waiting on an action or apology from him that he broke up with me over a text. That apology never came. I guess I am wondering if I am always going to regret not having a face to face conversation with him and what could have come out of that. After I was gone he said I could come over so we can talk but I was so livid about the locks being changed I said it was too late now. Also I felt he should have desperately wanted to talk if he was really sorry not just tell me I can stop by if I want. He should have said "where are you we need to talk" or "i need to apologize for what i did that night". That has never happened. You dont break up with someone over a text after four years. I still have so much anger about that and was hoping for a face to face apology that would have opened up the conversation to address why he has been unhappy. I dont know if I should just ask to go over there and have this talk or just let it go. It is apparent that I am not going to get him apologizing to me the way I wanted so I need to make the move is. At this point do you think he is hoping I come around and talk to him or is he just over me and moving on??

[toknow]

Agree communication is extremely important, but before you communicate get rid of your pride, because anything you communicate will come out wrong and it will only make it worse.

(By the way did you tell him you love him, first? I'll tell you later why I ask this)

His seems not to be so much pride as a cry for you to show him you love him and care about him. This is evident when he told you to leave, and when you did, he was upset about it - he didn't mean it - it's almost like he was testing your love for him.
The way he is acting, I don't think he is over you. But even though no contact might work, you've made it into a gradual no contact, which lets him get used to it - so there is more of a chance of it not working. Him acting hurt, shows he cares about you, because if he didn't he would not mind your not listening to him, or doing your own thing. I noticed so many places of your pride put before the relationship in your post above, and those are where you made the mistakes.

[smackie9]

Just what I told you....he wants you to fight for him, so swallow your pride.

*If he was moving on he wouldn't be offering to talk now would he.

[HeartIsAching]

He's a passive-aggressive little shit who was trying to get your attention with an emotional bludgeon.

You're a passive-aggressive little shit that was trying to get his attention with emotional games.

Learn to communicate for your next relationship - this one's over.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Totally agree with HIA. As I said in your other thread, you're both dipshits expecting the other to read their mind.

[Maple1714]

Can't the two of you just pull your heads out of your own ass and have a real conversation? Seems like the two of you aren't mature enough to be in a relationship together right now anyway, but hopefully somewhere down the line you both will be able to talk about this whole break-up honestly. It's time to move on now.

Reminds me of that dumb movie "The Break-up".