Mad about being denied sex

[NiaPeach]

Last night my boyfriend was upset with me because I wasn't in the mood to have sex. I was lying in the bed and he came in from the shower and I was tired in all honesty. I don't like being waken up for sex if I'm really tired also. He initiated it by sliding behind me and kissing under my neck. I told him that I would take care of him in the morning and he was agitated because he rolled on his side and didnt touch me all night. This morning I slid behind him and told him to come on but it had to be a quickie because I had to get going. He said don't worry about it. I hardly ever deny him but when I do and he feels like I don't have a valid excuse he's upset. I feel as though I don't need an excuse and if I don't feel like it, that's reason enough. Why are men like this about sex? Women how do you respond to this? I love sex with him but why be upset over being denied sex, oral or anything else? I don't want this to become a problem.

[anonymous_a]

If you have sex on a regular basis he has no reason to be pissy when you deny him once or twice, every now and again. Tell him to stop being a whiny bitch and get over it.

[dickriculous]

Questions

1) Are you sure he's actually mad at you? Is it possible that he's just experiencing the normal irritation that comes with not having your sexual release when you need it and you're misinterpreting it as anger being directed specifically at you? Have you communicated with him about this? Have you asked?

2) Are you sure he was just plain not in the mood the following morning? I usually don't want sex in the morning, and there are other times when my gf is in the mood and I am not, it has nothing to do with being mad at her or getting back at her, it's just a reality of the fact that I can't just get horny on command.

If you've already thought the above 2 points through and already communicated with him about it and you've been able to conclude that neither of the above could be the case then yeah, he's being a bitch. Sulking and acting all passive-aggressive over being told "no" is what I expect of a pms'ing 14 y/o.

Not telling you how to handle your relationship with your bf but I'll tell you this much, I personally do not have the patience to deal with that kinda bs from women. I'm 28 now, when I was a teen and in my early 20's I spent that time dealing with enough of this type of retardedness to last me a lifetime, at this point in my life it is a prerequisite to have grown out of certain things in order for me to consider someone to be relationship material and acting like this when you are told "no" is one of them.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

He's just acting butt-hurt, but could have felt rejected. Some people are more understanding, but no one likes being denied.

Your try this morning made it sound like a chore or something. I know you were trying to satisfy him, but "It's gotta be a quickie because I have to get going", probably didn't make him feel all that desired. I'd be fine with it, but clearly, not everyone is.

Talk to him and explain that you're very attracted to him, but you don't like being woken up for sex.

[basilandthyme]

For the record, not all men are like this.....and not all women have to find a way to respond.

I mostly say Yes to my hubby - but if I'm not in the mood he accepts it without getting pissy. If I'm asleep, he wouldn't dream of waking me

[smackie9]

You need to lay out some rules about rejecting sex between the two of you so that there isn't any misunderstanding. Bring up a compromise like give him permission to wank off to porn and you can pull out the vibrator.

[michelle23]

If your having regular sex then he should understand. Its not rejection-sometimes your just not in the mood and it happens to men too.

You should talk to him and tell him if you say no its not coz u dont want him-you just dont want sex right now.

Obviously if you rejected him all the time then he has reason to be pissed but if its occasionally he needs to get over it

[IslandScorp]

Sometimes it's not what is said but how it's said that hurts other people. Telling him that you'll "take care of him" in the morning and then later saying "come on but it's gotta be a quickie" might have made it seem to him that you're just doing something mechanical to satisfy him and not that sex is something that you enjoy or that he's desirable.

[lalalita]

It's not only men who are like this. I've dated men with lower sex drives than myself. Being turned down for sex stinks, but like above posters have mentioned, if it's only every once in awhile it shouldn't be such a big deal.

If you turn him down all the time though, that's a different story.

[Starnique]

As a woman, I have never been turned down for sex. Anyway, I really think it's the way you said it. It didsound more like a chore. Have you been coming across like that lately? Maybe that's the problem. Next time make him feel more desired, even if you if it did feel like a ~chore~ at that time. Sometimes it be like that. If he want it and i'm not doing anything else and i'm not in the mood, once I start doing it, I get in the mood. As far as being waken up out my sleep, sometimes I mind and sometimes I don't depending on how tired I am and if that's the case, I just say, i'm tired. I got you in the morning baby and then instead of making it sound like a chore, initiate it.