What do I do?

[lopsidemaniac]

So I have been sleeping with this guy for about six months and everything is fine, but I want to step the relationship up a notch, because right now we're just friends with benefits... We're both 18, in university and are both in the same dorm... in fact he's my next door neighbour.

So here's the back story. He's a super gamer, but the rare type that is hot and good in bed. Stubborn as hell. Never ever leaves his room, so all interactions happen either on FB or in his room.
At first we did talk about being in a relationship and dating and he said that he wasn't ready and that he knew if we did start anything, it'd end up badly (I know right? How the hell can he tell the future, but he said that every relationship he's had has ended badly and it was because of him) and I wasn't really mentally prepared to be in a relationship either. So we ended up just being sex buddies, because we liked each other.
Six months later, the sex is still great and we enjoy each others company and I'm ready for something more, but I'm afraid to ask and run the risk of losing what we already have.
I know I did everything wrong and someone on here is probably going to say, 'you're stupid for doing the friends with benefits thing' and I admit that fully. I have probably ruined my chances of becoming more than friends, but if anyone has advice on this subject, do tell, because I really like this person.

[perth]

i'm not really sure what you should do.

maybe you could try seeing if you can get him to go hang out with you outside the dorm, like go out for food, to a party, to hang out at a friend's house, to a movie, to a poetry reading, to a workshop on a social justice issue, for a walk downtown, to a bar, to a bookstore, or whatever you think is fun. if you can't get him to agree going out with you once in a while, it's probably true that he's not ready for a relationship. not that couples have to go out most of the time. my boyfriend and i usually just stay in together and hang out. but i think in his case, since he's a bit of a shut in, willingness to go out and do things with you will be a sign that he's ready for more.

if he doesn't ever agree to go do things with you, then put the idea of dating out of your mind. (or you can ask him again, but don't expect a yes.)

if he usually agrees to come along and do things with you, then give another try asking him to date. tell him that other than making a comitment to be monogamous, nothing in the relationship needs to change.

if he's not willing to take it to the next level, then you can either continue on as you are, or tell him that you want to go back to being friends without sexual benefits. which you choose all depends what makes you happiest.

[perth]

p.s. another thing you should do is ask him to explain what he means when he says that his relationships ended badly and it was his fault. maybe he has treated his girlfriends badly and realized it. if this is the case, then you should stay away from dating him for your own good.

[Wakeup]

So I have been sleeping with this guy for about six months and everything is fine, but I want to step the relationship up a notch, because right now we're just friends with benefits... We're both 18, in university and are both in the same dorm... in fact he's my next door neighbour.

So here's the back story. He's a super gamer, but the rare type that is hot and good in bed. Stubborn as hell. Never ever leaves his room, so all interactions happen either on FB or in his room.
At first we did talk about being in a relationship and dating and he said that he wasn't ready and that he knew if we did start anything, it'd end up badly (I know right? How the hell can he tell the future, but he said that every relationship he's had has ended badly and it was because of him) and I wasn't really mentally prepared to be in a relationship either. So we ended up just being sex buddies, because we liked each other.
Six months later, the sex is still great and we enjoy each others company and I'm ready for something more, but I'm afraid to ask and run the risk of losing what we already have.
I know I did everything wrong and someone on here is probably going to say, 'you're stupid for doing the friends with benefits thing' and I admit that fully. I have probably ruined my chances of becoming more than friends, but if anyone has advice on this subject, do tell, because I really like this person.

So what do you expect from this, really? You're 18 you're in first year, you don't know where your career will take you. Do you expect one or the other of you to move where the other lives? Do you expect to spend the rest of your life watching him work and then come home and game until his skin is as white as a newborn's ass from lack of sunshine? Have you thought about what he's even like as a person? Anything besides the sex. You mistake sex for love and now you want more? Well more of what? A douche who games all day and stays inside 24/7? Really? That's what you want more of?

[Gabriel04]

Well, boys are, sometimes, afraid of things when the girls are ready for more,.. but if u really like the guy, why dont u give him some hints first on wat u really wanted, like asking him if he wants to be on a relationship or the like, ask like 1or2 times a day only,and when u get a bit comfortable on the subject, ask him directly, when the atmosphere is already serious..