Girlfriend has started own business

[SodaStream]

Hi, im 24 and my girlfriend is 27, although she is slightly older there is no mental age gap, we see eachother at the same level and we have been together for a year.
We've recently started our own businesses, however mine is internet based and doesn't require as much maintenance as hers.
We have a great relationship, always laughing, intimate every time we see eachother, we talk and understand eachother, now the problem is we used to see eachother near enough every day this then became every few days, to a week and more recently starting to creep towards a fortnight.
I feel i'm far from a selfish person, i have and always will give her any space she needs and i know she appreciates that.
Lately she hasn't been giving herself any time off, she has a busy workload but she just tries to plough through instead of working out a plan and therefore makes it very difficult for us to see eachother as often as we'd like, i know this bothers her as much as me but as you can imagine i see ways around it by organizing and working out a plan and set days/hours but thats not in her nature.

I am madly in love with this woman and i know that she feels the same way, but at this rate i'm going to end up being distant and not help it, to the point that i've had enough of her lack of effort to see me and i say goodbye.

This is NOT what i want to do, i can literally picture my whole life with her, she's just become such a workaholic that i never know where i am with her, which is stressing me out and giving me sleepless nights.

I just need some advice, like how would you guys deal with this?

[smackie9]

I would just have a talk about it with her and see if there can be a compromise.

[basilandthyme]

Perhaps you could work out some days that you'd like her to be available. Perhaps Weds, Fri and Sat nights and all day Sunday. Give her some parameters to work with.

While I realise that starting up a business requires a lot of effort, you do want to make sure to avoid a workaholic.

[michelle23]

Starting up a new business is a lot of hard work and if you want it to be a success than you do literally have to put blood, sweat and tears into it. The initial start up is the hardest and the first year is always going to be busy busy busy. Can you compromise by working together? Could you bring your office to her and have lunch together?

I set up my own business last year. It didn't work out as it was one of those network marketing (direct sales) companies and the one I joined was just too big. There were way too many people doing it so I just managed to break even with money before getting out of it. But those 6 months were HARD WORK. I am looking into a new business opportunity now but this time I will do things far differently than the last time.

I doubt she is a workaholic. She is probably just under a lot of pressure and really excited about her company. You should talk to her and tell her how you feel and try to reach a compromise

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Don't expect this to change for a long time. If you're already becoming distant, you should probably cut the cord, rather than drag it out.

Sure, you should talk to her and give her a chance to change, but realistically, it ain't gonna happen. Don't know how long you've been together, but I suggest ending it sooner than later if things don't become more acceptable.

[horndog]

I have been self employed for a little over 10 years now with my own business. The best recommendation I can offer based upon personal experience is this; If her business is home based, have her get an office outside of the home. This way she can set more normal work hours and go to work and come home just like the rest of the working world. Also, an office gives her the ability to leave work.....at work. If this is not possible then at least try to help her to set normal work hours and stick to them as much as possible. Starting a business can be stressful and a huge commitment on a persons time, but on the flip side of that a person can also burn themselves out and destroy every relationship they have by spending too much time on the business and not on their lives. We work to live, not the other way around.

[SodaStream]

Alot of good advice guys thank you, im gonna put doing our work together to her today see how that goes

[TablesandChairs]

Cut the cord? Seriously? Don't listen to people who have never started their own business - it can be all-consuming at the start. Stressful, feeling like you can never do enough in one day. Besides, if you don't put your all into it, it'll fail. Simply. Sacrifices need to be made and yes, ones social life and partner do get put on the back burner.

Support her, don't start with the 'You don't see me enough!' stuff - she's probably already overwhelmed enough. Plan to do things during her spare time. It won't be like this forever but it's a new business, what do you expect?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

TablesandChairs, the OP has started a business and it is not all consuming...

He said he's already becoming distant. Why should he settle for being "put on the back burner" indefinitely. Many businesses struggle for years and years before taking off or dying off. Why should he put his life on hold when he's already seeing that it's not working as is for him?

Sodastream, how long have you been together?

[horndog]

TablesandChairs, the OP has started a business and it is not all consuming...

He said he's already becoming distant. Why should he settle for being "put on the back burner" indefinitely. Many businesses struggle for years and years before taking off or dying off. Why should he put his life on hold when he's already seeing that it's not working as is for him?

Sodastream, how long have you been together?

did you read the original post? he said his business does not require as much maintenance as his.

[michelle23]

I wouldn't be too quick to throw in the towel here. Tell her how you feel, tell her you understand she is under a lot of pressure but you would like a little more quality time. See what she says