Cut off contact with my Ex girlfriend. Did I do the right thing?

[Benmeister]

Ok my girlfriend and I were having a rough time recently. It was my fault because I was going through a weird time and I ended up hurting her. She broke up with me. 2 weeks later she called me and told me that she loved me and wanted to get back together because she missed me. She told me that she wanted me to be sure that I would not hurt her like I did ever again first. 2 days later I sent her flowers and a note telling her how much I love her and that she is safe with me. That same day she called me and told me that she wants to stay broken up. She said that it just wasn't working out. The next day she said she wants to be friends still and she still cares about me. She kept asking to go out for coffee so eventually I went with her after she got off work. It was hard to see her. The next week she asked me if she could go shopping with me. I cut off contact and we never went. I knew she was stringing me along and I wanted her to find out what she really wanted from me. Immediately after I stopped talking to her she got together with this other guy 10 years older than her. They had been talking the day before I sent her flowers but I didn't think anything of it because we used to talk to this guy when we were together.

Did I do the right thing by cutting off contact with her? I love her so much. I'm moving on but am still waiting for her to come back after this rebound relationship ends. What can I do?

[Valixy]

No doubt you did the right thing. She checked out of the relationship some time ago, broke up with you, then felt lonely but as soon as another man was interested in her, she left you again. Respect yourself and forget about her. Continue with no contact and you will feel better little by little, especially if you concentrate on yourself and do things that you enjoy and keep yourself busy.

[Benmeister]

I don't even think this guy was interested in her. I knew this guy pretty well I thought. He never talked about girls with me but I couldn't see him going for a 18 year old girl! No, I think she liked him first and told him. She did the same thing with my 25 year old friend but he didn't like her so it ended awkwardly. I'm hoping that's what's happening now and he is just being nice. I'm the only guy she likes that's actually her age! Her mom even hinted that before this all happened. Maybe she has something wrong with her that makes her attracted to old dudes. I don't know. I'm just trying to forget it and move on, but at the same time prepare for when she wants to talk again because after this I'm really the only one she can turn to.

[unknowngirl]

your relationship ended for a reason. sometimes when your in the thick of it, its hard to see - but something tells me you were not happy. If you loved her, you wouldn't have allowed yourself to hurt her, and could have worked through your "weird time" together. I also don't think it would have taken two days to decide if you really wanted to be with her if you did.
It sounds like she was a little unsure also. Cutting off seems like the right thing to do. Give it time, you will heal.
Also, its not your place to worry if the other guy is right for her, or not. Its no longer your job.
Don't wait, your wasting you time, who is to say that if it fails with the other guy she would want to come back?

Listen to your instinct, and mind. Our hearts doing an amazing job of tricking us.

[Benmeister]

Oh I was really happy. It's not like I was trying to hurt her. It was just that I did some stupid things recently. I was constantly paranoid that she would stop liking me and she got really frustrated. Basically the last straw was when I didn't talk to her for a few days. I thought she needed space but at the same time she thought I didn't care about her. I didn't know how to communicate at all in the relationship and I didn't even realize it until now. I know if she really loved me she would have communicated better about what she is upset about rather than keeping it to herself until she gets angry. I still know I did things that hurt her but I've apologized already for that and have learned not to do these things to people.

[searock]

Yes you did do the right thing, there's no point "remaining friends" with exes, you can't be friends with someone unless there is absolutely no romantic feelings whatsoever from either side, and that is pretty rare between exes.

Anyway, you need to work on your communication skills: especially in romantic relationships, they're the glue that keep people together. The worst thing you can do when there are issues in a relationships is to stop communicating with each other. It almost always escalates and you become more and more resentful towards one another. Whenever something is bothering you - even if it seems like something trivial and even if you know it's just your insecurities, talk about it with your partner. If you two are meant to be together for the long haul, you will work things out together.