can i let her go

[fleaflea]

my girlfriend broke up with me. I messed up in our relationship ans i didn't make her feel loved. She would text me and if i was tired or moody i would sometimes give her one word answers or take a long time to reply it does not sound like alot but over and over it would happen and i didn't realise i was making her feel unloved and unwanted. This led to us arguing about stupid little things and sometimes when i was angry i said something nasty hurtfull i would come to regret like one night i called her a psycho. she told me many times how unhappy she was and i realise that now when i look back but at the time i didn't know i think i ignored it cos i hated the thought so much. I loved my girlfriend more than anything in the world and when i looked in the future i though we would be together but now i hurt her so bad and i don't know what i see just what i wish i could see. I know i hurt her and i have to let her go but i cant so i put a map in an envelope and said i would wait for her every Monday at the location for the one in a million chance that she would come and i told her to not open the envelope unless in the future she felt the slightest bit happy or the tiniest bit of love when she thought about me. so if she does not feel this way she can forget about me and the envelope move on But i realise now that if she never comes it will rip me apart. I don't really have a question to ask but maybe somebody has an answer

[smackie9]

Maybe some space is good, so you are just going to have to wait it out. Deal with whatever happens or doesn't happens when the time comes.

[unknowngirl]

I am a strong believer in "things happen for a reason". sometimes I do not think we are aware of why we do certain things like "take a long time to reply", but all behaviour is motivated. we do not do things "just because".

Maybe it might help to ask yourself why you were acting that way, what were you trying to achieve, and what was motivating you. I get the sense that there was a part of you holding back from the relationship and putting distance between yourself and her. Why? I don't know. however, I am sure you do.

Do not wait forever, what will be will be, and everything happens for a reason, sometimes the reason is just hard to see.

[byro13]

Yes, things happen for a reason, and mostly is to give us a warning about our behavior. Mostly we man are responsible for our breakup. Don;t get me wrong. I don;t want to blame everything on us, but after my last extremly painful breakup, I realized so many areas in my relationship that it was my fault. I was arrogant, egocentric, to dominant.

So, I say you always have chance to get back with your Ex girlfriend but you need time (1-2 months) to evolve to the next level and then give it a fresh start.
I got my ex back 4 times before, so you can too.

[smackie9]

Back 4 times? sounds like trouble lol.

[Wakeup]

I know i hurt her and i have to let her go but i cant so i put a map in an envelope and said i would wait for her every Monday at the location for the one in a million chance that she would come

What? You watch waaaaay toooo many Hollywood romantic comedies there, fleaflea. You'd be better off going to the gym every Monday (and more often), honing your body, going out and finding someone else while implementing the lessons this girl you couldn't be bothered with has taught you.

How many Mondays are you going to waste before you wisen up? Only one I hope then contact her to tell her goodbye *for good.*

And to listen to someone who has broken up with someone 4 times is ridiculous. If you're meant to be together, if you're compatible enough to last a LIFEtime, then there will be no breaking up four bloody times.