He's Just Not That Into Me?

[Unimare]

Okay, this is going to sound like a very highschool type problem, but let it be noted that I am actually 24 years old and not that inexperienced. However, I have been in a relationship for three years and am now for the first time again exploring the single life, and frankly finding it a bit overwhelming.

I have my eye set on a charming young man - and he is a fair bit younger than me and comes across as quite inexperienced. We met during a party, a modest sitting around the table talking type of party. And for the bigger part of the evening we were chatting to each other, and I felt we were connecting quite well and having a good time. I left the event with the hopes that we would see much more of each other in the future.

The next time we met, he seemed much more aloof, kept his distance and didn't talk to me much. I asked him later whether he would like to show me around a place (with which he is more familiar than I) and he agreed to it quite readily and said we'd make more specific plans at a later time.

Since then we have had very little contact, but I have tried starting conversations with him online which only last for maybe 5 minutes before he has to rush off somewhere. Now he has a fairly busy lifestyle, I'm sure, but I'm just surprised that he has not made the effort to reach out to me not even once since the first time we met when we had a perfectly lovely conversation. And he does have a fair share of friends here, whereas I only have few, which is why I was excited in getting to know him better. We have been at the same party on one other occasion and since I didn't want to be the first to initiate contact - again - then I tried not to bother him much and he also made no effort at contact.

So after this story, a question to the guys - how should I proceed? Should I perhaps remind him of our arrangement for him to show me around? Or attempt small talk at a time which hopefully would be more convenient to him? Hope that he is but shy or entirely clueless about my interest towards him? Or is it just a classic case of He's Just Not That Into Me? I would also be fine with friendship, because I sincerely like him, but he just seems so unapproachable. He's not classically handsome either (well, I think he is) and probably doesn't get a lot of female attention, so maybe he's not used to it/intimidated?

Any words of wisdom would be appreciated.

[basilandthyme]

Sorry, I think it's a classic case of him being Not That Into You. You've made it clear that you're interested and he's not responding. I understand that he agreed to show you around the place, but sometimes it's easier to say "yes" and then do nothing about it than to say "no, I'm sorry". Likewise, being pleasant and friendly at a dinner party does not mean that he wants to date you or be a close friend. And him having to frequently leave 5 mins after you start a conversation is a BIG sign that he's not into you.....this isn't about him being busy - it's about him not wanting to have online talks.

Time to let this one go.